jeudi 30 Aoû 2007, 6h07m

THe other day I had one of the most painful cries in my life. I will rank it top 10 placing it at 7. I couldn't stop crying and it was unbearable not to. What caused all this? It was my period. It took me a while ti figure out that after not crying before ,my moodswings decided "hey she didn't cry for such a long time on her period lets make cry now. So I cried and cried and cried some more. So even tho I was crying painfully I thought I might as well make myself useful and started to take out some materials. A plain white shirt and 5 different type of glue that sticks to fabric. Then with kleenex by myside and basically only using two different colors as the main attraction of my prototype 1 shirt i begain my Fancy Squiggle series. It turned out well and i passed out around 4. But I finished my T-shirt desin at 3. So I worked on my shirt about an hour and a half because i had screwed up some parts on the shirt likie there is this small blob that you wont notice but only I will notice it and I cried about screwing up and yelling at the stupid glitter glue fabric bottle. *sigh* it is dumb I know. But when I showed my dad he was stunned that I even created it. On the shirt is the nice fancy squiggle and on top right part of the shirt says "Failed…." and then on the bottom left says "What Happened?" I don't know. Thats how I was feeling at the time. Creation comes from your moods…..stupid moodswings…stupid period*sigh*

On a Lighter note I do have a third job but I might start this Thursday or Saturday depending. Details of that later or just ask me about it later…bleh. KFC got top 10(but really we were third place) which was effin awesome. So the whole KFC Crew went to Santa Cruz to celebrate. It was fun, painful and just more fun. Painful becuase the water was of course if you fell either rocks or of course sand. I have this battle scar from the beach on my knee. Plus I wrestled my little friend brother Dat Nguyen on the sand. It was fun. I bought a new bikini and everyone liked it… I dont' know Rollercoaster got me tired today. I have this nice pin from KFC That says "Top Ten" and then another for "Colonels Promise." Mreh. Lost of people were there. Loi Vu, Dat Nguyen, The Three Tellez sisters with there cousin Luz and Aunt Adrianna, Sonia Tellez boyfriend Jose, The Three Huerta Sisters, Cassi, Hugo, Polo, Rafa, Juan, Pino, Jose Guzman and people he brought. Hugo called me 10:48am this morning because Sonia was to sick to come to work but unluckily for Hugo's call i was too exhausted and can barely answer him. I regret not going to work because today was boring as hell but I couldn't do it in my condition I was in. I slept and re-woke up around 5 deciding to play WoW as a Night Elf Druid. Lv l 10 btw and didn't even die once. Oh and was playing episode 26 from season 10 of Naruto over and over agian not watching it(only saw it once) and just listening to the music and japenese speaking basically. But at the very end of the episode like only 30sec is this beautiful yet strickingly sad song that made me cry and send shivers down my spine. It was a strange great feeling that I wanted to repeat over and over so I let the episode replay itself over and o ve r again because everything was worth listening. But just to listen to the last 30se.c of it. I found another person on the internet that agrees with me too: http://www.tv.com/naruto/10-puppets-vs.-100-puppets/episode/1123901/reviews.html?review_id=429197&flag=
I knew I was going to talk about this subject so I got smart and copied it before this journal and then pasted because I cant' remember the whole thing haha.

I'm upset because my mom got a DOT com before me…I'm not even kidding it hasn't laucnhed yet but it will soon. She has a website, no a buisness website before me…mreh.

I awnt to talk more about music. I love music. I'm a huge fan. I love different types cept Hippie music and my defination you will heare from me loads of time is "Tree hugging pot smoking songs" with the exception of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd and Afroman(tho Afroman is a different type of genre* Anyways my favorite at the moment is asian style music. I will bring this up and the dork that I am will be Naruto ep 26 season 10. I just can't get enough of the music in that episode. Right now I am listening to it. I was listening to iTunes earlier b ut just wassn't the same. I tried to look for the songs but no luck. once again my fascination with violins emerged. Probably isnt' a violin but it sounds like to for me. I love hearing a song for the time first time and just having this amazing feeling flow through me. I can't explain it. But it's great. It doesn't even have to be a slow song either. I find most of the songs that strike me are really upbeat. Not saying the slow songs dn't but still its just an amazing feeling. Its like it hits a a certain feeling a certain mood aa certain sumthing in me. If i listen to it over and ovar again and it the feeling doesnt' stop then i will always listen to it. haha i'll be a geek and list some songs from naruto that make me feel that way, of course the ever popular sadness and sorrow by toshiro masuda haha, wind from akeboshi, to you all by aluto and the last melody from ep 26 season 10. yes I am labeled nerd.

I re-evaulated myself a couple of my times lately and i came up with my persoanlity really hard to explain for myself. I think I am drawn to sad stuff. I don't know. I came many times to one thing. I am drawn to naturally sad things. Sad people. I am drawn to things I grew up such as games, music, art, photography, rhetorical questions/\weird thoughts\/evaluation and stuffed animals. Those are the main components of me. Then everything that just is in life comes after those. Sadness before Happiness? Its odd I thought. But its true. Is that a bad thing?
I just know at another time I'll be doing the same thing re-evaluating my life once more. So whats the point of doing agian?

My elemantary friend Gerald is not on Myspace anymore I am a bit concerned as to why and we didn't exchange phone numbers so I have no way of contacting him yet agian.