I hate music

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3 jan. 2009, 17h23m

I did this a while ago (i insulted my top 125!), but most of my top fifty didn't reflect my current listening status. i will now do this again since i have reset my charts and have over 5000 plays. wish me luck.

1.Gore Beyond Necropsy - All your songs sound exactly the same. All of your cover art is the same. Way to recycle the same five topics in every one of your retardedly big discography. if you are going to write lyrics in English you should probably learn how to speak it properly. faggots.

2. Blood Duster - This band fucking sucks ass, and I'm not just saying that because i have to in this post. The only reason you have so many plays because you have so many shitty fucking songs, and I listen to 2 albums by you and you will never leave my top 50 even after 5 months. I really fucking hate this band and anyone who listens to their weak ass wanna-be grind should be castrated and force fed their own dicks.

3. Usurp Synapse - Hey you want to be artsy? Then don't be in a fucking screamo (or skramz if you are 13 year old faggot on the internet) band you fucking dipshits. screamo is one of the furthest things from being artistic you could possibly do. That is like a Jared from Subway trying to be skinny; because no matter how much weight you lose you are still a fat shit on the inside. If you want to be artsy how about you go fucking kill yourself in some sort of metaphoric protest. that'd make me really fucking happy.

4. Agathocles - Way to make all the hundreds of bands you do splits with pay for making the records. No wonder you have over 100 releases out, you haven't to paid for any of them, you cheap fucking bastards.

5. Venetian Snares - bom-bom-bom-skree-dud-dud-dud-blah-blah-blah. I fucking get it. layer drum beat over drum beats and the occasional bass thud. how many records do you have out that sound exactly the same? STOP MAKING MUSIC PLEASE!

6. Bone Awl - ooooh all your records only come out on vinyl or tape. way to break the mold. how about you do something really insane and put out an 8-track or something. not that anyone would want to buy your sorry excuse for wanting to be Ildjarn so bad. please die...in a fire.

7. Jucifer - Amber is really photogenic, because in person she is, well, i don't want to say troll, but i no other words come to mind. Musically your songs are boring, rehashed, rock riffs you can hear on tons of fucking records from the 60's and 80's. good-bye

8. Haymaker - if these guys were setting out to make the most generic hardcore/thrash band imaginable, they reached their goal. PERFECTLY.

9. Gasp - ooh you add tape loops and noise to lame fucking powerviolence/screamo. how INTERESTING. maybe if yo were good at either peices of that combination you might be good. go listen to my band to see how it should be done.

10. The Locust - way to make it big on a gimmick you fucking cocks. and really all of you need to eat a few extra veggie burgers because you all are skinny fucks. and your vocals are fucking terrible. and Pantera was a hair metal band.

11. Nachtmystium - way to sell out. BAD. your new album is so weak that it would make sense that you will be the new Dimmu Borgir. You are so cult that I want to sacrifice the entire shitty band in some ritual so that I never have to hear you music again.

12. Masonna - you are lucky you are Japanese or else you would have no fans because your music sucks shit more than a Brazilian whore who does scat videos because your entire fanbase seems to be nerdy Japanophile pieces of shit that live on the internet. oh yeah and androgyny is for faggots.

13. Aphex Twin - everytime I hear Aphex Twin i immediately want to be doing something else because its fucking boring. your symbol is fucking stupid too.

14. Prurient - you must collaborate with so many people because you aren't confident about your music alone. and with good reason, it's fucking terrible. and you are a greedy fucking bastard because you charge way to much for your own music.

15. Jesu - You made one good album that hipsters the world over jerk off to and that for some reason gave yu the idea to put out a new record ever month. and they all suck. please stop making music.

16. Orchid - "Hey guys lets write lyrics about philosophers and free love, it'll be so fucking awesome!"

17. Chokehold - yeah we know you don't like America. Not to say this country is any good, but try living here before you complain about how much it sucks. you don't see me writing songs about how much Canada sucks do you? if i wanted to i could write about your terrible driving conditions in the winter, or how everything is closed for a week after Christmas in Canada...but i don't because I don't live there. cram it you douche bags.

18. Lee "Scratch" Perry & The Upsetters - i honestly could have bought any other reggae record by accident and I would have not even known I bought the wrong one.

19. Merzbow - I get it, you are one of the first noise artists. that doesn't mean you have to release the same record 3 times a month. go do something else with your life. like telling your country to stop killing so many animals for food. big ups on that.

20. Torche - your new album sounds like a boring as southern rock record. way to fail massively. also; super elaborate packing is really fucking annoying...i knew I should have not bought your new album based on the package alone.

21. Earth - Pentestar is such a terrible album that it totally overshadows anything decent they've ever recorded.

22. Combatwoundedveteran - Duck Down for the torso is a terrible attempt at becoming Tool. Thankfully you broke up soon after putting out that piece of shit.

23. The Stalin - ooh you named your band after a Communist. how shocking. way to be a lame stereotypical punk band.

24. POLYSICS - Wow. It really isn't hard to sound like Devo and yet you fail miserably at it. Not only that, you are Japanese and even with this Japanophile craze sweeping the US's 14 year old girl conscience, you still fail to draw people to your show. Way to go.

25, Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck - The only reason people go to see you live is because they want to watch you do something stupid. If you honestly think people listen to your piss poor excuse for music you are mistaken. oh and pedophilia is gay.

26. Notorious B.I.G. - you are so fat it makes me sick just thinking about you. thankfully you are dead; though i feel bad for what must have been a gargantuan amount of trees that were cut down in the process of burying you in what i'm sure was one of the largest coffins ever conceived by man.

27. Sunn O))) - it must be really easy to get fucking drunk and take a head full of acid then play 2 chords for 20 minutes. then after all of that have every hipster on the planet begging for a vial of your semen to inject into their veins to hopefully become as gay as you are.

28. Limp Wrist - you are probably the worst band i've ever seen live.

29. The Brian Jonestown Massacre - oh psychedelic rock. that shit died in the 60's oh and good job kicking out all of you band members and doing heroin guy-who-writes-all-of-the-songs-in-this-band-whose-name-i-haven't-even-bothered-to-learn-because-you-are-so-fucking-unimportant. way to ensure a life of poverty and slow painful agonizing death.

30. Brian Wilson - the only thing you are better at doing than writing songs is eating. i'm suprised you haven't died of heart failure yet you fucking beanbag chair with apendages.

31. Catasexual Urge Motivation - you are responsible for the creation of the cybergrind/pornogrind genre. the only worse thing someone was responsible for is when whatever scientist in whatever US government lab created the AIDS virus.

32. Man Is the Bastard - i guess no one told these guys that not having a guitar in a hardcore band is stupid and boring. and that cookie monster vocals are worse than Tom Petty.

33. Zarach Baal Tharagh - actually it's a pretty good idea that you release every single fucking piece of "music" you've ever recorded. that way more people will know that your music fucking sucks balls.

34. Today Is The Day - Steve Austin is a whining emo bitch. and a horrible producer. Every record he's gotten his stupid tattooed hands on has been fucking terrible. Whenever he sings it makes me want to puncture my ear drums so i never have to subject myself to his awful excuse for music ever again.

35. Apocolyptic Youth - Now i've mentioned horrible music on this list so far, but if you want to hear the worst fucking band you've every heard in your life, simply put on and AY disc. I guarantee it will be off within seconds. that's how bad this band really is.

36. Misfits - Funniest band of all time. I made the unfortunate decision to see "The Misfits" a few weeks ago, and all I could do was laugh at the sorry, broken down, soul of what was once an awesome band...25 fucking years ago!!! godammit how are these old ass fucks still even alive, let alone playing instruments. these guys need to be put out of their misery. bad.

37. Fuck, The Retarded Girl - is all you do all day sit at home and record music? i don't even know how you have time to do anything else in life like eat, or jerk off, because you have had so many releases in the past year alone, you must never stop touching your mixer and pedals.

38. Bloodlet - Your vocalist sounds like an old man having a heart attack. something the rest of the band should work on doing. dying from a heart attack that is.

39. The Fucking Champs - I really liked these guys like 4 years ago. I also was really into Iron Maiden at the time. In all honesty, this shit is so fucking tacky and boring anyone who really likes it should be gassed and cremated.

40. Fucked Up - oh good another hardcore band trying to be artsy. do you really think people want to listen to a 20 minute hardcore song that has 3 minutes of whistling in it?? Do the world a favor, kill the singer and use his blubber to feed the any third world country for at least a week.

41. Basket of Death - great, another japanese cybergrind band. one that is obsessed with anime. great. the only thing sadder is watching a retard try to wake up it's parent that it just accidentally killed using it's retard strength. or something. fuck this band.

42. Last Days of Humanity - way to make it big because someone made a stupid Youtube video with one of your songs. after you were broken up. all of your songs sound the same. and using a pitch shifter of vocals is stupid. and you are Dutch.

43. Miles Davis - You think you are so big and bad because you reinvented jazz 4 times. that would be a big deal if JAZZ WASN'T FUCKING STUPID AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CARE ARE JAZZ SNOBS. it's too bad you are dead already because i can't instruct you with a creative way to die.

44. Death in June - the whole Fascism worship thing? yeah lame. who are you trying to kid? everyone knows you suck dicks with the best of them, both musically and literally. and good job keeping your stupidly large amount of releases in print. i don't know what idiot would pay 70 bucks for a CD of your terrible music on ebay.

45. Annihilation Time - please break up now. your last 2 releases were so bad it completely taints anything good you've done (which isn't a whole lot). I'm embarassed that I used to say I enjoyed your music.

46. Wold - ooh you are anonymous. how scary and evil. the bottom line is you are from Canada, and the only good thing to ever come out of Canada is Poutine (look it up if you don't know what it is).

47. King Diamond - Mercyful Fate was excellent. King Diamond is so fucking bad that I went to see him once and left 15 minutes into his set. I'm not kidding.

48. Gallhammer - i fucking knew it. a band with actual potential to do great things rides on the wave of visual kei fandom in the USA and totally fucks up their sound to sell more records. I don't care if this band is comprised of three hot chicks. they all need to drink antifreeze and jump off a bridge.

49. Tjolgtjar - don't you release that making up words is one of the first thing people make fun of black metal bands for?? jesus fuck. not to mention you are just a Nachtmystium rip off (why in gods name would you want to rip them off is beyond me). please die, and if that's to much to ask, please have your hands severed from your body so you can never make music again.

50. Sutcliffe Jügend - feedback, more feedback, someone screaming something misogynistic, loud distortion, more feedback. i just described every one of SJ's songs.

fuck music. seriously.

Commentaires

  • SiIhouette

    jesus christ

    3 jan. 2009, 19h18m
  • RichieFM

    im not that into metal and stuff, but this is absolutly hilarious

    3 jan. 2009, 20h57m
  • AppleKabukiSuri

    Oh stormchaser! This is journal was already great but your comment takes it to a, Hole, Nuva, Levol!

    4 jan. 2009, 1h01m
  • logbut

    stormchasar: i hope you are kidding.

    4 jan. 2009, 3h01m
  • logbut

    oh and to Silhouette: i am Jesus Christ. thanks for noticing.

    4 jan. 2009, 3h02m
  • logbut

    the idea behind this meme is to insult bands that you actually like because it's harder and more fun to be critical of music you actually enjoy.

    4 jan. 2009, 3h18m
  • logbut

    i think that's pretty lame.

    4 jan. 2009, 3h36m
  • AppleKabukiSuri

    das ich look like clowns

    4 jan. 2009, 4h33m
  • godemperorofhel

    Got to agree with Jucifer and Polysics, I love Sunn O))) and Death in June,but you got a point... Great work, You can only say "I love you" after you wanted to fucking slaughter that stupid bitch.

    4 jan. 2009, 5h04m
  • AppleKabukiSuri

    of course gero are terrible that's the whole point

    4 jan. 2009, 6h20m
  • ItMe

    You're a fucking imbecile, and this retarded LiveJournal entry doesn't deserve to be read. Good job tagging all the artists so you could get lots of attention though.

    4 jan. 2009, 6h34m
  • seth502

    nie ma to jak porządna fala negacji wszystkiego :D

    4 jan. 2009, 10h41m
  • Dreagan_luna

    hey, do I smell faeces..? ow, yeah, ItMe, I didn't see you there...

    4 jan. 2009, 12h00m
  • t_minder

    well, am I glad I almost know none of those artists/groups :) The only one I really like of them is Jesu, and I don't agree with what you said about him...he fucking rocks!

    4 jan. 2009, 13h14m
  • logbut

    i think the best part about doing these insult your top artists memes isn't making fun of your top artists...it's the the reactions from people who don't get it.

    4 jan. 2009, 13h56m
  • AppleKabukiSuri

    They are quite imbecilic you could say

    4 jan. 2009, 14h48m
  • PMSingGremlin

    Now THAT'S not cool!

    4 jan. 2009, 15h54m
  • Demon_goo

    Oh my dog! I've read this and now I hate the music even more. :)

    4 jan. 2009, 21h38m
  • ctrlaltowned

    I think logbut is a pretty cool guy, he hates music and doesn't afraid of anything.

    5 jan. 2009, 9h43m
  • ctrlaltowned

    p.s. morons: DO NOT FEED THE TROLL

    5 jan. 2009, 9h44m
  • Aurist-

    [quote]I just mean I can't think of any reasons why, say, Das Ich fucking suck[/quote] hmm

    6 jan. 2009, 9h18m
  • standard_user

    Today is the Day are GODLIKE!

    27 jan. 2009, 22h01m
  • logbut

    this is a insult your top artists blog.

    28 jan. 2009, 1h08m
  • logbut

    me too!

    4 fév. 2009, 1h23m
  • anarcho_atlatl

    I love the Orchid and Sunn O))) ones. Ha ha. I also love those bands a lot. A few weeks ago one of my teachers was giving a lecture about Foucault and I couldn't get Orchid out of my head. It was distracting.

    2 avr. 2009, 7h40m
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