RSS
  • seen live

    28 fév. 2015, 17h56m

  • 2014 in summary

    31 déc. 2014, 16h55m

    TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2014
    1&2: Taake - Stridens Huns/Kulde
    3-10 [equal love]:
    * Darkspace - Dark Space III I
    * Ofdrykkja - A Life Worth Losing
    * Blut aus Nord - Triunity
    * Noctem - Exilium
    * Schammasch - Contradiction
    * Alfahanne - Alfapokalyps
    * Sólstafir - Ótta
    * Skogen - I Döden

    TOP 50 ARTISTS OF 2014



    TOP 50 TRACKS OF 2014



    TAG CLOUDS OF THE YEAR

  • ・゜゜・.❣ perfections

    13 déc. 2014, 4h39m

    visual & musical perfections

    ★вакантный [[vacancies rmx]]★
    ☆to london or the lake☆
    ★nordbundet★
    ☆FAUST☆
    ★fjara★
    ☆i skuggan av mig själv ☆
    ★falling★
    ☆built to grind☆
    ★aurum christi★
    ☆zmiany☆
    ★just fascination★
    ☆dualitet og ulver☆



    favourite lyrics.



    Then all danced, my heroine
    Unaesthyetically
    To the war opera
    I was proud to start a killing spree
    With you
    We darkened the scenery
    All the grief
    All the tragedies of your horrible loss
    Have been channelled
    Into an orgasmic carnage
    As all collapsed
    We died in murderous bliss.




    Det vilda livet i den gråa staden
    bland dessa lyckliga puckon
    Isolering har blivit ett beroende
    för att undgå de som stör mig

    Leenden, tindrande ögon,
    vänliga hälsningar får mig att vilja spy
    Uppmärksamhet som de trånar efter,
    har ingen betydelse för mig

    Vända andra kinden till?
    Älska min nästa?
    Hjälpa mina medmänniskor?

    Är det svårt att se föraktet och
    avskyn gentemot dig i mina ögon?
    Njut av era kassa liv, men tro inte
    för en sekund att ni är speciella

    Ni skulle bara veta vad som döljer sig
    bakom mitt kranium,
    hur min syn på saker och ting ser ut,
    och vad jag är kapabel till




    Þetta er það lengsta sem ég fer.
    Aldrei aftur samur maður er.
    Ljóta leiðin heillar nú á ný,
    daginn sem ég lífið aftur flýr.

    Ef ég vinn í þetta eina sinn,
    er það samt dauði minn.
    Trú min er að allt fari ei vel.
    Þessu er lokið hja mér.

    Dag sem nótt hljóðið var órótt.
    Þrotið þol lamað bros.
    Áfram ríf, hjartað pumpar tárum.
    Dag sem nótt ég geng nú einn.

    Grafin bein grotna í jörðunni,
    eins og leyndarmálin þín
    sem þú hélst forðum burt frá mér.
    En blóðið þyngra en þögnin er.

    Svikin orð, grjót í kjafti þér,
    rista dýpra en nokkur sár.
    Brotin bönd aldrei verða söm.
    Lygar eins og nöðrubit.




    There is nothing in my heart; that is how I love you
    There is nothing in my heart; that is how I hate you
    There is nothing in my hand; that is what I owe you
    There is nothing in my mind; that is what I think of you

    This is a song for hate and devotion
    For all of you, who mean nothing to me.

    There is nothing in my hand; that is what I give you
    There is nothing in my mouth; that is what I speak of you
    There is nothing in my eyes; that is how I see you
    There is nothing in my soul; that is what I feel for you




    Półmrok, czerń, szary śpiew,
    Spływa dzień, krąży krew.
    Blady świt, w płucach mgła,
    Ziemi kwiat, śmierci znak.

    Gdy pchnięty czas okręgi zaczął toczyć,
    Kiedy oddech słaby z wiatrem porwał,
    A o otwartą dłoń uderzyć nie śmiał
    Było tak, jak chciał, w blasku dnia.

    Dzień wtedy nie wstał...
    To noc go tam uniosła
    Głębiej w życiu zmoczona,
    Intensywniej śmierdząca...

    On czarny,
    Tchnieniem każdym kolejnym
    Przenikał okręgu krwi wstęgi,

    Ona czarna
    Bielą ciepłą wybrała życie w jednym i śmierć...

    Płynie czas, wilgoć trwa,
    życia blask cicho gra.
    Tyle lat, siebie wrak,
    Ziemi kwiat, śmierci znak




    Once upon a slime I thought you royalty
    I would never have questioned your loyalty
    Don't act so surprised, saw through your disguise
    But with friends like you I prefer my enemies

    Up until recently never had a clue
    Reel away, I must admit I pity you

    I'm through with your kind
    'Cause you've wasted my time
    Please do not release them
    Lord knows what they do, yeah

    I can't believe how cruel life is
    Emotional blackmail
    Makes me sick, oh so sick

    Who is to blame for constant shame on you?
    These words I use, please don't confuse with cool
    This misfortune, not lost but won deserve
    Choosing is hard, careful which God you serve

    Traitors many, surrounding me cowards
    Conspiracy so clear to see, flowers
    We were brothers 'til discovered, deceit
    Tried with treason that's the reason you're beat

    All hail and farewell to Britain
    All hail and farewell to Thee
    All hail and farewell to England
    All hail and farewell to me, to me




    Hold og blóð
    að moldu skaltu verða
    vígamóð
    allt skal fá að brenna

    Sviðin jörð
    gleypir hina bestu
    sviðin jörð
    drepur allt að mestu

    Sársaukin
    dregur úr mér andann
    þína skál
    teyga svarta sanda
    svo langt sem augað nær
    fennir yfir engi
    svo langt sem augað nær
    fennir vel og lengi




    Już niedługo zapalę świece by uczcić naszą pamięć
    Odeszliśmy z własnej woli
    Nie chcąc żyć tak normalnie - nienormalnie
    Nie chce rzucać żalu
    Płacz niech będzie rozkoszą
    Nigdy nie przypomnę sobie, jakie było to życie
    Ludzkość w okowach obowiązku
    Niezdolna do wyboru, zdana na łaskę ideałów
    Ludzkość ukrzyżowana
    A ja byłem wolny, byłem Piotrem
    Który trzykrotnie wyparł się Chrystusa!
    Nie ufam nikomu, każdy jest samotnikiem
    Za życia i po śmierci
    Skrajna nienawiść ogarnia mój umysł
    W egoistycznej egzystencji
    Odchodzę w nicość, obracam się w niebyt
    Rozpływam i rozpadam się
    Ujrzałem marność wiary
    Odchodzę w niematerialną rzeczywistość
    Nie chcę o tym myśleć, zostawiłem cierpienia
    Nie tak miały boleć, ukryte w sercu marzenia
    Złudne obietnice i nadzieje, powtarzane od wieków
    Okłamały nasze dzieje
    Ja mam dość, odchodzę, spadam w przepaść!




    You lie so nice in front of me
    As I brought you from your grave
    You lost some skin and a lot of weight
    But still you look sexy in your new shape

    People blame me for being insane
    But I am just in love
    Why doesn't anybody understand
    That sickness is my command

    Every morning I think you are there
    I ca still feel the warmth from your body
    I've missed you for far too long
    That's why I bring you back where you belong

    I have thoughts of commit suicide
    So I can be where you are now
    Where you are I want to be
    That's why I bring you back to me

    When we get home, I'll split your legs
    On this dark day of desecration

    I love you as much now as back then
    When you were alive and loving wife
    After this I'll try again
    To pull the trigger and make my day




    Incurable disease on the day of rest
    I go walking on water in a sea of incest
    I've got the image of Jesus embedded in my chest
    I can't leave home without my bulletproof vest

    Killing myself for the perfect honeymoon
    Fighting with scorpions, tied round my neck
    I hear the pitter patter of a killer on the loose
    Children use their fingers instead of words

    Crosses burn our temples on Slaughter Avenue
    It takes too much time for me to say, "I refuse"
    Time is digging graves for the chosen few
    Children digging graves for me and you

    Describe the illness, I'll prescribe the cure
    Start your two day life on a two day vacation
    Describe the illness I'll prescribe the cure
    Start your two day life on a two day vacation

    Spiritual cramp going for my ribs, those gangsters toting guns
    Are shooting spikes through my wrist
    Children use their fingers instead of words
    Fingers bury children under the boards

    I can die a thousand times, but I will always be here
    With the power skull, secrets of forgotten years
    The hangman's noose is drenched, with bloodstained tears
    My hands are the killers that confirm my fears

    Jesus, won't you touch me? Come into my heart
    Where the hell are you when the fire starts?
    I'm using my fingers, instead of words

    On a mission of the Father, to reduce the gates of Hell
    The ivory bone eyed mother's flesh is starting to swell
    I'm setting twenty-two tables for the funeral feast
    Satan is by far the kindest beast




    Well I'm here
    And summer is gone I hear.
    So pray for me
    As I now leave your town.
    When did I say this
    I will never leave
    I can't recall this
    Moment in my life.

    You would never sleep at night
    If you knew what I've been through.
    And this thought is all I have
    To trust upon when light is gone.

    My problem was
    That you kept me here too long.
    And today is when
    We'll regret that I came by

    Life is full of darkness
    And murderers come my way.
    Someday you will join them
    And I will let you in.




    There lies a beauty behind forbidden wooden doors
    A beauty so rare and pure, it would make human eyes bleed and burn...

    ...she killed herself in the fall...

    I am the unmaker, I bring death to the beautiful dawn
    With pillor, cold, and a legion of dying angels...

    ...I killed myself in the spring...

    A grim bough had hung me high
    I sank the fires of the Sol
    Here, nightfall reigns

    I oppose the light
    I gather the storms
    with a sword I wield with hate
    I shot down the sun with bow and flame
    Pillorian for the dead winter

    I am the unmaker
    The pillorian...the ending
    I...die
    I damn you the dead winter




    Językiem moim płomień,
    co nie oczyszcza
    a tylko podpala.
    W tę noc listopadową
    naturę namiętnie wycałuje
    by tez się stała blada.

    Językiem moim płomień
    co nie oświetla
    a tylko podpala.
    Gwiazdy, śnieg i Księżyc
    Drogę mi wskażą
    Pod koniec listopada.

    Językiem moim plomień
    popiołem słowa.




    Well, I've got no more reason to live
    And I've got no more love to give
    Tonight's the night
    I'll paint the town red
    I'll put another hole through my head

    Now I feel the weight of a world on my back
    I've seen the future, the future looks black
    It's what I must do, I have no reservations
    Ain't talk 'bout self preservation

    Unjustifiable existence
    Gravity crushing me
    Crushing me, crushing me, crushing me

    Yeah, I feel something pulling me down
    Forcing me between myself and the ground
    Of all the nightmares that ever came true
    I think that gravity is you

    I built myself a nice little cage
    With bars of anger and a lock of rage
    I can't help asking, "Who's got the key?"
    When I know damned well, it's me

    No, I ain't hinting for sympathy
    I'm used to dealing with apathy
    The scars on my wrists may seem like a crime
    Just wish me better luck next time

    So what if I died a thousand deaths
    You think I'm insane but I have no regrets
    One more time won't matter no question
    Suicide is self expression [express yourself]




    Leżę tam pod deszczem,
    W krzyż ramiona z ciałem układam,
    Pode mną łoże szeleszcze,
    Z ptaków figury do lotu się składam...

    Krzyki doniosłe o niebo wrzucam,
    Nie wiem o co, lecz z przyjemnością,
    Ale nawet drzazgi nie włożę tam echem
    W mur szary niezmącony ludzkością...

    Nade mną mgła tuż na sercu się kładzie,
    Gęstą trupią bielą życia wypełnia,
    Członki zrodzone me lekkością wiedzie
    I do lotu nad górami unosi...

    I wnet oczy otwarte ze żółkłymi liśćmi
    Martwymi loty moje podniebne równają
    Z ziemią znów jednością stają się kości,
    Zapadam się by znów być początków krainą...

    Wracam...




    Det är höst igen och paranoian når sitt klimax
    Genom kylan tränger sig natten in i mitt kött
    Paralyserar tankarna i min skeva hjärna
    Torra löv dansar i vinden bakom mig
    Skapar obehagliga ljud ur tystnaden
    Och triggar upp min redan starka noja
    Alla passerande vider är potentiella fiender
    Jag stirrar hatiskt mot varenda jävel
    Hoppas att någon ville snegla tillbaka
    Och ge mig en anledning
    att fälla ut teleskopbatongen,
    för att slå ihjäl honom

    Den människa jag en gång varit är försvunnen
    Numer är jag ett monster
    Driven av krafter ni aldrig vill förstå
    Men även jag har älskat
    Ångest kan göra en så trött
    Man tappar liksom viljan att försöka
    Ni kan inte förstå hur det är
    Att enbart vara en skugga av sig själv
    Jag plockar upp tetran ur väskan
    Tar några stora klunkar vin
    Känner mig lite varmare inombords
    Och jag tänker att det här är den enda kärlek
    Jag någonsin lär uppleva



    little collection of favourite quotes.



    “Why do I feel this alone? Basically, because I’ve always been alone. I’ve always been alone. And alone I’ll be. It’s about time I become aware of it and never forget it.”



    "Fuck God, and fuck the Devil, and fuck the Church too. I’m responsible for my actions, don’t need to hide behind nothing. The Devil didn’t made me do it. I did it. Whatever I did"



    "Toxic people have a way of making themselves look innocent. they behave abusively but spin a different narrative, even to themselves. maybe even one where they are the victimised.
    You can lie to yourself your whole life. but after a while the eyes around you will open, and i believe it all comes out, eventually."



    "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist."



    "Jesus died for your sins so make sure to sin every day or else he died for nothing."



    "Intelligence always had a pornographic influence on me."



    "I noticed everything. I just act like I didn’t."



    "A writer is a world trapped in a person."



    "If all insects on Earth disappeared, within 50 years all life on Earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the Earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish."



    "We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."



    "Would ‘sorry’ have made any difference? Does it ever? It’s just a word. One word against a thousand actions."



    "I have acid rain in my brain and it’s killing the flowers in my heart."



    "You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."



    "The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted."



    "Ludzie chcą się dotykać. Chemia dotyku jest jedną z najbardziej fascynujących chemii."



    "If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently."



    "Go out and do something. It isn’t your room that’s a prison, it’s yourself."



    "When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them."



    "People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention."



    "What doesn’t kill you
    leaves scars
    ruins your lungs
    dries out all your tears
    leaves you lying awake at 4 in the morning
    wishing you weren’t alive"



    "Mondays are fine. Its your life that sucks."



    "Doesn’t it scare you that you’ve wasted more than half of your life hating yourself? It should."



    "Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."



    "Apparently orgasm is the only point where your mind becomes completely empty, you think of nothing for that second. That’s why it’s so compelling, it’s a tiny taste of death. Your mind is void, you have nothing in your head save white light."



    "Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important."



    "People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself."



    "When men imagine a female uprising, they imagine a world in which women rule men as men have ruled women."



    "I will bleed for better reasons this year."



    "If you consider a woman less pure after you’ve touched her, maybe you should take a look at your hands."



    "Why is it always the woman who has to see past the beast in the man? Why does she always have to clean his wounds, even after he has damaged her beyond repair? Why is it always the man who is worthy of forgiveness for being a monster?
    I want to see the beast in the beauty.
    The half smile, half snarl. The unapologetic anger. I would like to see the man forgive the monster. To see her, blood and all, and love her anyway."



    "Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness."



    "Our ego is the biggest thing keeping us from being happy. We are raised to believe we need to fulfill a purpose, to fulfill a lack or to find someone/something that completes us and never realize that we are already whole. Our egos and their lack-based conduct tell us that we can only be happy when we acquire something or someone we desire, which is always changing and therefore always keeping us unsatisfied. We’re not here to become ‘complete’ nor are we here to fulfill a lack. We are simply here to 1) express and 2) enjoy."



    "Time does not bring relief; you all have lied…"



    "If they don’t need you, it’s okay, you do not live for other people."



    "I was quiet, but I was not blind."



    "I am under no obligation to make sense to you."



    "I’m in a cafe. I’m waiting for him. And he is late. But only a minute. So it’s not serious. So stage one: loving his being late. You go, it makes him human. Gives him sex appeal. Stage two: checking my agenda. You know, I question myself. Maybe I got it wrong. I invent scenarios. I picture myself arriving late at another cafe. So I look where I am, I am in the right place. I am been 32 minutes. stage three: I tell myself I don’t mind waiting. I keep myself busy. I read. I pretend to read. The same fucking paragraph. I go to the bathroom, order stuff. Now, I hate him. I insult him in my head. I think of cool quotes that will be perfect for when he shows up. I am been 39 minutes. He arrives. All out of breath. Handsome. Traffic was bad. So I excuse him. I say, of course, only normal that he is late. Cause I am weak. Someone you put on a pedestal is always right. Fuck."



    "The problem is, people view suicide as this sudden thing; you were alive and then all of a sudden you’re not
    But that’s not what it’s like, you’ve been dying for a long time, you’ve been terminal for so long they just never noticed"



    "We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings."



    "They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured. Now they ask me why I’m so empty."



    "Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages."



    "How to kill someone;
    Hold their hand and then never touch their skin again,
    See them nearly everyday and pretend they don’t exist,
    Act like everything you ever said to them was a lie."



    "You know you’re an empath when you constantly have to remind yourself, that most are not able to feel things the way you do. Words, people, and places carry an energy field. And they all can feel just as intense… energy is energy."



    "Other people are not medicine."



    "You may think I’m small, but I have a universe in my head."



    "Hate can be a positive emotion. When it forces you to be something better than yourself. You built me, constructed my desire and perfected my hatred. Now I’m driven to be 10 times better than you think you are."



    "When you reach for the stars, you are reaching for the farthest thing out there. When you reach deep into yourself, it is the same thing, but in the opposite direction. If you reach in both directions, you will have spanned the universe."



    "We can’t all be saved. Some don’t even want to be saved."



    "Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll choke you with the same hand I fed you with."



    "I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me."



    "Being good felt like a heavy coat, so I took it off."



    "Beauty is nothing, beauty won’t stay. You don’t know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you, you know it’s for something else."



    "Do you know how much thinking and feeling I’ve done? It’s terrible. And nothing’s come of it."



    "I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it."



    "As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life."



    "Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness."



    "Time didn’t heal, but it anesthetized. The human mind could only feel so much."



    "I walk around the world like a ghost, and sometimes I question whether I even exist. Whether I’ve ever existed at all."



    "Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character. It only hurts."



    "Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they’re bored and step on you when they’re done. Be like drugs, let them die for you."



    "From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity."



    "I’d like a drink. I desire to forget life. Life is a hideous invention by somebody I don’t know. It doesn’t last, and it’s good for nothing. You break your neck simply living."



    " 'That’s all right,' she says, and I have to wonder how many times she’s said that to the people in her life who screwed her over somehow."



    "Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision."



    "The scariest thing about the world is knowing it goes on when you’re not there."



    "One time, I took more pills than I can remember and accepted I’d be dead within the hour. Don’t ever call me weak."



    "I love monsters, I identify with monsters."



    "Boys cry
    Cigarettes do kill,
    parents lie,
    boats sink,
    flowers die,
    Life goes on,
    with or without you."



    "This isn’t a romantic story, and it’s not a fairy tale. Forget what they teach you, how to forgive the ones who hurt you and how you should always fight evil with good. This is no fable, you got to survive. And sometimes, in order to beat the monsters that are biting your limbs, you have to become a demon yourself."



    "I know exactly how to hurt people. I’ve learned from the best teachers: the ones who made, or try to make, my life miserable.
    I use this talent ‒ because it is a talent ‒ only against those people. I save it as a last resource for when I know I’ve got nothing left to lose. But I took what I’ve learned from them to the next level: poison.
    I know, with an exceptional precision, the right words to hit their heart. I recognise their weaknesses and their biggest fears, and I hurl them right into them.
    The very moment I let those words slip out of my lips, I know that they’re never going to forget them. I know how those words will never stop haunting them, and how they’ll sometimes find themselves awake at 3 AM, grasping the blanket as they think about what I told them. I know I hurt them with the most powerful and poisoned weapon to exist.
    And you know what the best part is? They know they deserved every drop of my poison."



    "Why? Why won’t my heart stop beating? Why won’t my lungs collapse? Why won’t my organs fail? Why am I still breathing? Why am I still alive?"



    "Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any other disease."



    "There is something in me, I can’t define but it hurts all the time."



    "I'm not addicted to alcohol or drugs, I'm addicted to escaping reality."



    "It’s true, as you get older saying “goodbye”, “I am sorry” or “I love you” becomes more difficult, because you are aware of what these words really mean."



    "I understand it now; why hurricanes are named after people."



    "Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?"



    "That’s the problem with putting others first; you’ve taught them you come second."



    "I will not set fire to myself
    to keep you warm."



    "Everybody says sex is obscene. The only true obscenity is war."



    "Books say: She did this because.
    Life says: She did this.
    Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer books."



    "Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?"



    "Black isn’t a depressing color. It’s solid and powerful. It’s beautiful. If any color is depressing, it’s grey. Black is a color that actually absorbs and banishes negativity."



    "I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time."



    "I’m in love with everyone I’ve ever met in one way or another. I’m just a crazy, unhinged disaster of a human being"



    "Do you ever just wish you could unmeet someone? like maybe they were great up first, or even for awhile. But then they cause you so much pain and sadness that it wasn’t even worth the good times. So now they’re just stuck in your life, in your fuckin thoughts. You want them out but nope, forever they’ll be part of you."



    "The only negative thing about murder is that when you kill someone they can no longer suffer."



    "I wish I could be more. But not for you. Fuck you. I want to be more for myself."



    "Ja wiem,że Ty wszystko wiesz. Ty jesteś tak zwana mądra kobieta,o ile takie w ogóle istnieją. To znaczy najbardziej nieszczęśliwa. Dlatego,że jesteś mądra. Że wszystko rozumiesz,że wszystko wybaczasz,że wszystko potrafisz mądrze ustawiać. Za mądrość płaci się cierpieniem Krystyno. Biedne nieszczęśliwe, mądre kobiety. Żal mi Was, bo prawie zawsze giniecie przez głupców. "