5 juin 2009, 18h56m
As I opened the door the familiar smell of home welcomed me. I hung my keys on the hanger, sat down on the steps and began to remove my work boots and socks. It had been a long day, a long week and today is only Wednesday. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while rubbing my bare feet back and forth across the plush carpet. I think I saw Bruce Willis do it in Die Hard. He said it helps refresh you after travel, so now I do it after a long day. It actually seems to work.
After about five minutes of the carpet I head into the kitchen, put my lunch box away and opened the fridge. I looked around a second and grabbed a cold frosty canned beverage. “Sklick pop,” that first refreshing drink, “Ahhhhh,” it just tastes so good when it hits your lips! I walked up the stairs with heavy feet and shed my clothes with the rest of the day.
When I walk into my room for some reason the first thing I noticed is my heart. I mean for some reason I happen notice it today. Its there, where it always is, sitting there as it should beating, “thump thump, thump thump”, as it always does. I take another swallow of my beverage. Set the can down and take off my shirt and pants dropping them in the hamper. I think to myself the shower is sounding better and better. The thought of the hot water washing the stress of this week away makes me begin to relax with the thought. As I grab my towel and turn on some music, again I take notice of something. “Hmmmm”, I pause looking around the room as if something is out of place. Satisfied after a quick glance that everything is as it should be, I made the water as hot as I could stand. I stepped in slowly allowing myself to adjust to the near scalding heat. My head was down as the water poured over me melting away the tension in my shoulders and back and washing it down the drain.
I lazily dried myself off and hung the towel over the shower to dry. I was just about to moisturize my face when something in my room drew my attention. I leaned through the doorway to my room, one eyebrow raised I slowly scanned my room. Although nothing appeared out of place something seemed different. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it. “Hmmmmmm”, slowly lowering my eyebrow, I continued with the rest of my hygiene ritual, face moisturizer, body lotion, deodorant, and hair gel and finally a spritz or three of the smell good. I gaze into the mirror “Hmph”, flexing, “that workout is coming along nicely”, I say out loud.
As I walk into the room, immediately something catches my attention. “What the …” I say out loud. This time I really take notice. “Something is going on”. At the foot of my bed in the center of the room I slowly look around the room spinning trying to examine every detail. My desk, my dresser, my closet, my bed, the window, the ceiling fan, but everything seems to be in place. I begin to think to myself “I must be going” …
Then all of the sudden there it was! It’s my heart! What is that? I gently place my hands over it, feeling it “Thump thump, thump thump”. I’m standing there my head tilted to the side, straining my ears, my eyes squinting in I concentrate on every little detail. Looking, listening, touching, feeling, and there it was! “What the FUCK is this”? I say out loud in total amazement. “What IS this? As I stand there mouth agape, breath caught in my chest, when. “Oh my god”, I gasp in disbelief. My knees give way and I find myself sitting down hard on the foot of my bed naked. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale and begin to laugh. My laugh starts with a stutter and begins to flow into a chorus of the happy laughter of instant recognition, fading to a low chuckle to silence. I took another deep breath and held if just a beat then a familiar smile began to creep across my face. An old smile knowing and feeling and “Damn, I can’t believe this” I say to myself in a low voice.
There it was, a tiny door, and these little chains with a little lock that seemed to be broken and scattered at its base. It was open. When did this happen, how, and why? I laughed again, a choking stuttered laugh out loud shaking my head slowly. My heart, the door to my heart was open. Just as the thought slowly faded from my mind I heard a quiet voice softly say in a low whisper “Yes, I’m ready”…