lundi 16 Nov 2009, 22h28m

august 16 state fair blues band is performing
fly onstage ordinary variety probobly has had its more pleasurable moments on a well but not intentional sculpted mound of human fecis.less pleasuable might be an animals fecis unless it was well fed.
that reminds me i just urinated into an enclosed ocean of sani blue,it wasnt pure as i recall a miller bottle much toilet paper (Tp for bevisis and my bunghole) urin drops more than several garnishing this particular dish. my thousand year soup was prolified by my addition of my very own special deep snot suction bowle removing lugie.
i got a car now! remove the driver and i got a car.
tied to this plastic piece of lawn furniture i took a moment to deeply and full heartedly enjoy the performers who were trying and sucseeding to entertain the crowd of walmart gatherers.
and by god (underline that word) it seemed to be working.
i was being entertained 250 16oz budwiser lights later i bieng my natural and unusual type nieanderthally developed man(like in the bible)have been indeed entertained.
i dont remember the name of that band but fuck was i tore up i found this written on a piece of stationary from the ky state fair i dont remember the year.but its word for word
im ready to put my most mundain thaughts onto paper
a written format for me for you give me an inch or two
fire water has destroyed my second sight the loss of one sense usually incourages another to duplicate its boundries trying to compensate for as you might say a siblig who is inadequit.
onward i forge toward my quest of pen and pencil manipulation some call it writing others poetry what the fuck do they know.
my self i call it a quite maddening time to self reflect on any and every little muther fucking thing that has of life come together much like a gangsta that has been utterly and profoundly over baked at 325 f.
beer is over, im tossing it under the table its time to procure a little more.

my love unlocks the thimble to my heart
spilling its magic light for the women who sits in the room of my soul
this room with no boundries will only grow and continue to broaden its demensions with every moment of my giving to you this ring a symbol of my love for you
nothing on earth shall contain the joy and goodness that will from this day only grow in our room of life
8-21-03
i dont know who that was for but i wrote it down so i guess i wanted somebody to read it i wonder if it worked.

chicken and mashpotatoes
thats all i need
i dont bother to eat
i just feed

suck up my beer
shovel grub with greed
i dont bother to taste
no time to waste

payin to live in a dump
with a fridge and beer
queers live upstairs
obscurity no one cares

postman comes with my check
slips it into my slot
coupons junkmail rott
my happiness thats all i got

fitness equipment surrounds me 1 2 & 3lbs hand wieghts physical therapy balls combat boots half unlaced with a five day old shine that has seen a good deal of blue collar toe scuffing indoor labor for the last 2/3 of a moral week.
magazines and junk mail hoof maddend dogs who pose as jersy cows in the 12 inch grass that is the back yard. barking as the t.v. omits sounds that resemble lassie or another k-9 expressing themselves like dogs do.
i dream what i lable wierd but the k-9 doggie baxteroo chases or should i say domesticated animal rugby in the over grown yard with maddening passion that i can only relate to an olympic syncronised swimming team members
but back to my dreams,sex but not real sort of r rated.
flight has more than been re-accuring sequence in my later dreams of night, but flight is an over agsaduration its more like 50 yard leaps controlled by the mind.
i have not been able to control my minds action during dream states ( the last 3rd of my nightly slumber ) im straying from the delerious topic that was what i was trying to convey but thats what my scribbling has always been about and yet today i havn't found the courage to take that bold step toward change. that is why i am sucking up xanax and whisky like it was heroin and oral sex from a $20 whore who swallows cum more frequently then a man with a cold swallows his snot he snorted and then attempts to spit but is stopped by moral or embarrasment factors. matlock caught my attention so did the large stainless steal mixing bowl plopped in the living room close to the heater vent by the north wall.

PLEASURE
hair folicels infected that need tweezer antention and gentle squeezing around the infected area until the infection a puss like substance oozes from the plucked and squeezsed sore,always use the thumb and fore finger for a less painful and more productive result.

jake "the flake" westbecker, a cat (feline cornish rex) that is often described by the first timers that make his aquaintes or innocent passer bys especially those who group all domestic house pets into cat and dog leaving all other pure breds into subversive alian category that may not be explained by people who if they do own pets do not realise the importance of innoculations proper diet LOVE and an exercise regime suited for your pet and loved one (both being the same) as a freak of nature and convincing thier small minds that witches in the medievil days who were labeled as the servants of satan had cats as familiers. other references have been possom,rat,i dont know what the fuck that thing is get it away from me.

Returning from the halls of justice my destination was the reverse of where it had started the south end smack dab center. everyday i face e.s.c.s.s. (i may very well start a moral support group here in the south end for people who can relate to my pain or should i call it our pain from this terrible mental stress caused by e.s.c.s.s) this disorder causes severe stress in wich in most cases as in mine results in various physical as well as mental anguish
for instance CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM wich experts state usualy develops from self medication or as it is sometimes refered to as (trying to) by people who are suffering from e.s.c.s.s. MOOD SWINGS usualy noticed by non sufferers to this disorder (more later)

Baby goes to venus like a rotten step child
Always butt naked with a hose and a necktie
Got a rodent and a snake loves a 12 gauge shotgun
Run baby run run run………..Run baby baby baby run

She lives like a pig in a travel trailer
Down by the sea she likes to fuck all the sailors
2 dollar bill and a bottle of mescal, nails done every friday
Run baby run run run………..Run baby baby baby run

Baby sucks the chrome from a trailer hitch
Creep up on a fucka with a gun and a pick-axe
9 milimeter hypodermics and a scrip of dilauda
Run baby run run run……….Run baby baby baby run

I remind you that i used to do a lot of drugs………..

Phoney plastic leftovers servrd on a chinette plate,dixie cup in hand vodka and kool-aid,classy clear plastic cutlery,a disposable dinner napkin covers your lap,plastic roses in a pint mason jar disposable salt and pepper shakers,
no menue just plastic signs on the wall no this is not juanitas its a little slice of heaven nina loved it,some hate the put on redneckism that it evokes,i myself could grovel in the concept.Elevator going down he asks flips his middle finger skyword and adds goin up! three somes used to intigue me well more than just intrigue,captivate my soul,increased awareness..now thats flight,steal my earthworm patee but leave my leftover grits and beans…

mjp
she watched as only a child could
her mother twisting in wretchid agony
the crowd cheering drinking feasting
sunday blessed sunday
the line of the accussed stretches the block
she gripped my finger
the fire tears her soul murder APART
screams of the accussed drowning all thought
vendors couldnt be heard
the smell of black'nd flesh and disease
burn burn burn……..scream the doers of gods will
her tears were not enough to extinguish the flames
she used my sleave as comfort

WILL YOU SELL ME YOUR CHILD SHE HEARD

i want you to do this well FUCK ME JESUS
educate my cat you hippie piece of shit
on your knees and sodomise me in hell
bathe my feet and turn my cum to wine
pull out the nails and earn your red wings
ponches pilot aint got shit on my whip
i prefer the squeals of pigs
but i still gave birth to you
teach me to fish with the legs of flies
hanging sickend
as i fuck myself with the spear in your side
feed the leapers with your tongue
you are a whore and we will ALL have some

THE EYES OF THE SPYDER
this was whispered in my ear when i lost my virginity

pourage
chicken fried chunks of puke
from a butt fingerin puke face suckin dirty underpant wearin infested with lice
scabies non bathin shit stinken faggot
mix with a liberal amount of ear wax toe and finger nail clippings dead skin flakes including dandruff and foot calous rubb off collect into caserol 2 qt size bake for 35 min on low heat approxamatly 300 f sprinkle with a fair to mildly generous helping of the combined mixture razor stuble belly button lint pubic hair toe jam then drizzle a worm cream of acne puss with both black and white head juice generousley cover it with eyesnot semen and shit corn are another favorite this then placed into a soup dish with a sauce of reguler and beer urin equal parts with pnuemonia plem and morning breath and snot residue serve with rancid chicken fat and stale body sweet collected form under the breast of a 330 lb women…………….bon apetite

NOT EVERYTHING I WRITE MAKES SENSE

hush hush little boy mommas gonna buy you a mocking bird and if that mocking bird dont sing mommas gonna buy you a diamond ring and if that diamond ring dont shine…………..
i remember
her soft voice…..her breath….
her spit on her kleenex cleaning away the grime from my face
that was the last memory of her
we lived in the back seat of an old crown vic while i listend to the ungodly sounds of what i now know as the evils
addiction…..sin…..sex
i remember…..
i spent the next 13 years at st.joseph's home for orpans
displeasing…hurting….HURTING
i learned a trade….i grew up
i found hell and i invited it in with relish
i remember
her touch,her lips on my mouth,her lips on my kneck
her voice, her voice her fingers her fingers
caressing the tracks on my arms
i remember
"i want to feel what you feel"
thats what she said…
it was more like an invitation
to my icey black soul
i obliged
i rememember hearing something about death
i put 20$ a week
into the st joseph's fund for orphans
her sons home
i do shed tears
I REMEMBER
bc09

fire and iron
an unchanged diaper
a slice of pissa
the flour that is dusted
the flour that is in my lungs
the heat i feel
i will walk the coals
i wantsomebodytotouchme
i brush my brow
remembering you
give me a shiver
maybe two
the mozzerella was golden brown
the napkins were devine
nock nock
who is there
racoon racoonn who
i thaught you were at dialasis bitch
and i laugh
that racoon drinks budwiser
is he normal
does he have a problem
its just beer
freedom in this world is a big busted women
mmmmm round and firm
yummy like a chocolate bar
yummy like piss shiver
backwards till it goes up in ya
a man can get pregnant if he fucks a lesbian
in my back yard during a full moon
whispering shirley shirley
how do you want your eggs

FUCKING A LESBIAN

my mouth following the sexy curve of your body
the fire you give makes me wants to extinguish
the lust you want to swallow
looking up at me
beautiful eyes
moaning the song i love
over and over up and down
sexy is what i want
pleasure is what i give
swelling female urge
plump throbbing excrutiating
lolling licking excrementing

the spit i lick
from my hand
the words you whisper
as a i please myself
remembering THE WORDS
as elvis was born
the second one of jesus kin
halajuha

P-NUT BUTTER BANANNA SHIT

i combed the little girls hair
i feed her mother poisen
the tv besides me was our best friend
watch what i do… not how i do it
bless this child and all she partakes
for i do not understand what its all about
comfort was my main goal
warm comfort not backwards

still i dream of yesterday
wrong as it seems but understandable
confused wanting to count counterclockwise
i place my finger on her pulse ahhhhh
and i agree
she loves me sometimes sometimes not
but she always loved me
esb or crack pipe we would have a blast
i combed the little girls hair
i feed her mother poisen
THIS WHY I AM THE CHEESE CAKEKNIFE

its raining and im sober
my dog is wrapped up like a baby in my old motorhead shirt
they like gizzards and so do i
so we shared a batch i feel lonely
darkness has crept into my life once more
replacing everything that i tried to grow
from the soil comes life and hope
it slips through my fingers like dry grains of sand
no footprints no beach no tide
physical pain is replaced by mental anguish
reality comes when the cigarett burns my fingers
reminding me to extinguish the life i live

COFFEE AND MISERY

bc 09