28 mars 2009, 22h52mi usually don't use the journal aspect of this site cuz i can never think of anything that moves me enough to write. on here i mean. i love writing in general tho. gah i'm sick of sum ppl on here. they just put out everything upfront. like they're name, age.... WHERE THEY FUCKING LIVE! what the hell is wrong w/ u?! nicolette is obviously not my real name, so that's different. if i notice most of ur friends are girls. w/ real pics. then ur a creeper. most of the time. i'm sick of the creepers. even if ur not one, so what....? if u don't have a pic at all, it's obvious: ur a creeper. sum ppl use this site JUST for socializing & don't even listen. WHAT THE HELL. that's not what this sites for, last i checked. i'm tired of the ppl that don't say anything but send me a friend request. if i don't know anything abt u, do u think i'm gonna add u? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! say sumthing before u send me a fucking request!!!!!!!!!! don't send me a request just cuz u like my avi. sum ppl do that. they send me requests when we have almost NO music in common. but they like my avi, obviously. they don't even have to say anything & i know. & i'm sick of getting requests from 20 or even 30 yr old males. it's shifty cuz most of them r hispanic. i'm also sick of the ppl on this site that think u shuld add them cuz they're chilean or Brazilian. they say sumthing along the lines of. "add me, i'm Brazilian!" what, so that's y i should add u? cuz of ur ethnicity? make sense of that.... does ur nationalism make u special or sumthing? or the ppl that say sumthing as simple as "hi" in a PM when it's so much easier to say it in a shout. i mean, really?? that just means ur trying ur damndest to have a private convo w/ me. even if it does start out w/ hi. & lastly: if u don't say anything, how can i know u sent it? DUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ppl do that, then i don't see the request for weeks at a time, even months. so it doesn't matter if ur a creeper or not, FUCKING SAY SUMTHING! PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!! i think that's all. :)
20 juin 2008, 14h16mThe Truth about Hell
One day I was sitting in Biology class, which I swear is the most pointless and torturously boring class on the face of the planet. It wouldn’t matter who was teaching it, it would still be dull and totally mind-numbing. Our teacher was droning on about something with cells and vacuoles and chlorophyll and reproduction of cells….. See? You’re bored already. Her words slowly turned into a drone, and& I glumly looked out the window. It sure waswas sure more interesting than what was going on in class. No one was cracking jokes or talking, and it wasn’t as if what she was saying was the least bit funny or entertaining. Or particularly important for that matter. So I focused on the trees and the sky and the flowers, and thought about love.
The weather today was actually especially dreary. There were heavy dark clouds, cockroaches everywhere, pits of fire and flames….. Not a good day for a picnic. I could’ve sworn I heard these blood-curdling screams, like they were my own thoughts screaming back at me. Except the voices sounded like people I love: my father, my mother, my best friend, my cousin, my grandmother, myand my boyfriend…. I turned frantically back to the classroom, trying to shut the voices outup. They slowly faded but I still felt my fear as fresh as when the voices started. The shouts faded, but my fear did not. I hysterically whirled around to my friend Kate.
“KATE!!!! Did you hear that?! Look out the window..”
“Dude, it’s raining. I don’t hear anything.” She told me that it was probably nothing, that I was probably drinking too many Monster and Full Throttle energy drinks, and not getting enough sleep. I could only wish that what she said was true, but with things looking the way they did, her explanation seemed totally irrelevant. I turned back around to find the Biology teacher, whose name will remain confidential, glaring at me.
“If I have to look at the back of your head one more time…I swear I’m going to move your seat!” I almost laughed at her, because something like me talking really wasn’t that big of a deal, especially if you compare it to the stuff going down outside.
“Are you laughing? What’s so funny?!”
I sighed, looked her in the eye, and and told her it was nothing, but inquired if she’d seen what was going on outside. She said yes. I almost jumped out of my seat, but kept quiet.
Seeing my reaction, she added, “It’s raining. Why, does that mess up your plans for this weekend?” I shook my head. If only she knew, this weekend was going to be hell if what was going on outside kept on going.
The teacher went back to her lecture. I was so sick of it that, I swear, I was ready to stab her in the throat and rip out her vocal cords out. But, of course, peopleyou can’t really do that nowadays… All of the sudden the screaming voices started up again. I looked out the window, but all I saw was rain. I tried to focus my attention back on cell walls and viruses. The voices were gone, and the weather seemed back to normal. Or as “normal” as you would call rain. Just as I finished my thought about how much I detested rain, I could’ve sworn that the amount of rain falling doubled or even tripled. I decided that it was nothing and dismissed it. The teacher was droning about stamens and anthers, which were male flower parts.
Manly, I thought. I turned back to the window again, but this time there was no fire, no bugs, no screaming. Instead, I saw an old beat up TV with a horrible picture….. Playing the most awful TV show in all the world: Teletubbies. But it was better than Biology, so I kept watching. What was weird was that I could hear what they were saying from inside the classroom:
“CUSTARD!!!! Whoooo! Let’s roll down the magic hill! The end!” then they all got into a humongous, orgasmic, group hug and the show ended with the little circle thing fading. Then the screen went into static. It hurt my head hearing that, because at that point the TV went really loud. Then it stopped just as fast as it started, and the Teletubbies popped up again. But it was the same episode. I jerked my head away, and the teacher said something about homework, so I pretended nothing was wrong or out of place and wrote the assignment down. The bell rang, and I got all my stuff together.
I walked out into the hall and went into heavy thinking mode. At times like these it was always best to think logically. It could’ve been all a dream, or maybe even related to what we were reading in English, which was Dante’s Hhell. Nah couldn’t be, I thought. I stopped suddenlyabruptly. I didn’t want to go outside. I couldn’t. go out there. There were fire and evil bugs ready to munch on me. Or teletubies ready to force-feed me custard.
Either way, it wasn’t desirable. I had to go out there, or I’d miss my bus. Then I would have to call my dad, and he’d be really annoyed since it was Friday and all. I had to be home on time because I had skating practice after school. So I took a deep breath and stepped outside. The sun glared into my eyes, blinding me temporarily. But I didn’t stop walking, because I couldn’t miss my bus. I staggered along the walkway as my vision came back. I spotted my bus right away.
Before I stepped on, I looked up at the face of my driver. He had red skin. And I don’t mean red like an Indian, I mean red like blood or cherries or Jell-o. He had this masochistic grin on his face, and his eyes were yellow. He wore a basic black tee shirt with the word “Satan” in huge neon yellow block lettering across the front. He wore blue jeans and, oddly enough… hippy sandals. I guess even Satan doesn’t have good fashion sense.
I stared up at him in horror until my vision blurred again. I blinked a couple of times, and he came back. But he looked normal: a white shirt, blue jeans, sneakers, and an Afro. White skin. Nothing out of the ordinary… I staggered back to my seat, number seventeen. I always sit there. I have no idea why, it’s just comfy. Seventeen is my lucky number I guess.
“Six six six….”
“What?!” I said.
“That’s what you just said!” said Kenneth. I forgot he sits next to me. I didn’t even notice him sit down. That’s pretty odd seeing how we always sit together on the bus. “I said that out loud?” He said I did. Maybe in hell you talk to yourself without realizing it, I thought. Like thinking out loud. How embarrassing… I had come to the conclusion earlier that this must be Hell. This is horrible. I could be losing my mind too, but I like the first theory better.
When I got home, I was so exhausted. I crawled up the stairs and tripped onto my unmade bed, not even thinking of changing clothes. I fell asleep instantly. For a while, there were no dreams. Just blackness. Then the voices started. Only..... They were those blasted teletubbies!! I couldn’t see them, just the blackness. It was more real than a dream, so I couldn’t force myself to change it into a comedy where I kill them all. Ha, I wish!......
”Nicolette….. Do you want some custard?..... Come play with us! …. Uh-oh, my tummy hurts! It’s YOUR fault Nicolette! Why have you made our tummies hurt? Why have you hurt us?..... We love you, and you were our friend…. YOU SHALL PAY!!!!”
Then things came into focus. The yellow teletubbie peered up at me with an evil grin and held up five of his short little fingers.
“This is where you are going, NICOLETTE!”
I jumped back in fear, realizing that they meant the fifth circle of hell. It was like what Midas does with his tail, wrapping it around him for the circle of hell you will be in. I tried to run, but they all jumped on me and brought me to the ground. You wouldn’t think that they’d be that heavy, even with five or six of them on you. But all that custard puts on weight I guess. They hog-tied me and gagged me so that I couldn’t even move. Then they dragged me to this dark, dark pit….
I jerked myself awake, surrounded in darkness. I groaned and rolled over to look at my clock radio. Five-THIRTY A.M.?!? Oh *insert four-letter word*!!! I had to get ready for school! There was so much to do! I had to take a shower, eat something, get dressed, and catch the bus. I feel like I’m forgetting something….. Oh that’s right, last night’s homework! *insert another four-letter word*! Oh screw it, I thought. I don’t have time for this. I’ll just work on it on the bus, and if I don’t finish it all, I’ll just take the late credit.
I quickly jumped into the shower, only to find that there was no hot water, or even warm water. I screeched in surprise.
“Good morning!” Oh God, The telletubies!! I peeked around my Spongebob shower curtain (yes, Spongebob sees me naked) and saw the purple teletubie. Little demonic fiend! He grinned up at me eerily. I hate the purple one the most. I’m seriously so freaked out by those little things, that I really wished it were my cat speaking to me instead. But it wasn’t. I watched as the teletubbie reached up to flush my toilet.
My first thought was, “Great, the little monster thinks he and his little custard-filled friends live here now!” Then I thought, “There’s teletubbie poop in my toilet!” Then I realized what he (it?) was doing.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I howled. Well, now I have hot water. I jumped out of the shower and covered myself with my Rasta towel. Just because he’s a demonic little teletubbie doesn’t mean he gets to see me naked. Only Spongebob does.
“What the bloody hell are you doing? What are you thinking!” I screamed. He only grinned. Apparently the little booger doesn’t think. I walked past him and quickly got dressed. I grabbed my bag and put it by the door. Then I scoured the empty fridge for food. EMPTY. I kicked the fridge in pure frustration and anger. My foot went through the door. Ouch. I limped out to the bus stop. And got onto the bus when it came.
When I got onto the bus, I wasn’t really looking where I was going. I just sat in the first available seat that I saw, even though someone was already sitting in it. I didn’t check who it was, or even asked if I could sit there. I just sat down and fell asleep against my bag.
When I woke up again, the person who was sitting next to me was blabbing away about hell or something, I really have no idea…. Bleary eyed, I looked up to see Dante, funny hat and all.
“Can’t they see you?!” I asked hysterically.
“What, the other people around us? Ha, no, they don’t see me. Only YOU do, Nicolette.”
“How the hell do you know my name?!!” I screamed.
“Please do not scream, even though the others can’t hear you right now, it still gives me a headache. I’m a bit older than I look, you know. Anyways, I came here to tell you: Evil is what you yourself deem it to be. If you think it’s a fiery pit, fine, be my guest. Although you seem to think it’s evil teletubbies… But on the other side of the coin, the purpose of Hell is really to scare people into being good, so that makes hell, for you, what scares you the most. You can use reason to control your behavior, which was the purpose of my writing Inferno.
Now, Nicolette, you need to pay attention in Biology class. Biology is the study of life after all, and you need to pay attention to what you’re doing in life or you’ll end up in Hell. Right now, this just serves as a warning. So whenever you’re daydreaming in Biology class, you’ll see Hell out the window and know to pay attention. That is all. Goodbye.”
And with that, he disappeared. *poof*
I honestly am not all that religious. I’m agnostic really. I won’t be an atheist, because I believe that there is something, just not Jesus. In fact, I make fun of Jesus. I run up to my dad and tell him that I found Jesus, and he goes, “Oh, I didn’t know he was missing…” I found him in my friend’s cell phone. Jesus is just too funny for me to take seriously! I woke up in the middle of the night last night and he was standing by my bed in a pink tutu. Sorry, just kidding! But wouldn’t it be totally awesome if he had dreads? What would you do if Jesus came up to you and said, “Do you know who my father is?” I’d be rolling on the floor laughing to be honest. Hey now, honesty is something God likes in humans! Five points for me! YES!
Seriously though, I can’t help but make fun of God. Christianity, or any religion really, just doesn’t make enough sense to me. I like studying religions, but I won’t really worship. If I have to go to church, I’ll be serious though. But only then. When I was a little girl, I was much more religious. “Oh my God, I can’t lie, He’ll see!!” I just used the Lord’s name in vain. See? You just can’t win. After a while, God became like Santa Clause to me, and I just stopped being religious. I had messed up too many times anyways, and there was no point in starting over since I would just mess up again.
If I try to be perfect, it doesn’t make me real. I believe that eyes and laughter can be beautiful, and that we came to be not by the “Creator”, but by science. Science is full of theories, but still, it’s more logical. It makes a lot more sense to me that way. If God created us, how did he get there? Which came first, the chicken, or the egg? That’s one major hole in religious logic. Also, no one can just say, “Let there be light!” and it’ll happen. Not unless you say it yourself and then turn on the lights. Or say it and then have someone else turn the switch on. I like the second way better, because it makes me feel more powerful.
I think religion was created because at first, humanity couldn’t figure out how they got here. They couldn’t think of a realistic explanation or idea, so they created religion. Also, I don’t think that people can bear that the evil people in this world can get away with their evil deeds. So Hell was created.
Personally, I don’t believe in Hell. And the Bible is like a storybook to me. People also can’t bear the fact that their loved ones, and eventually themselves, will be rotting in the ground after they die. That is why Heaven was created. People couldn’t come up with a realistic explanation as to how the world came to be, so they used God as a scapegoat. I think that religion is a weakness.
16 mai 2008, 11h21mNicolette flavored toothpaste!!!! & Nicolette flavored gum! delicious!! ^^ sugar, spice, & everything nice! u know u want some.... O_O
Also, one of my really cool friends is formulating fruit scented deoderants..... Badass Banana, Raw Berry, Manly Cherry. *wiggles eyebrows* it would be pretty awkward if u walked past someone who was waving to another person w/ their arm up & all of the sudden u were all like, "YO! i smellz banana!!" they'll be like, "ha, yeah, that's my DEODERANT..." o_O what i've been listening to as of late:11 Pm Devil Brother Stereophonics Superman i have lots of others, just REALLY don't feel like posting them.... later!
15 mai 2008, 15h56mi've been very concerned abt myself lately.... i have found a new artist, the Stereophonics. to be continued.....
b/c i can think of tons of things to write in here, but once i actually get to the journal, i blank out. XD i might just have 2 write a draft....
24 fév. 2008, 23h01m