lundi 7 Mai 2012, 22h47m

It began when I saw the moment of the universe. Which is to say, the transitional point from innocence to experience. God has a different notion of qualification from humans. He understands enough to perceive the boundary points.
It helped that I was talking to the Torah.

Of course, in another sense, all I was was participating in was a co-mingling of seperate universes - conversing with a different God.
It transpired that, in reality, I was both myself and the level beyond.

The Torah was always opposite and always different from previously.
He was the world, and I myself. He was the law, and I the enforcer. He was the other God. He was what he is, and at least as necessary. (I tried to be alone once. It was….. . Ugly/)

I remember when Mike was walking home, and he saw a Guy sitting in a doorway. Having just purchased some weed, he stood there a while and reflected on the effect weed had on him. Deciding that the only people who wouldn't mind being woken from their slumber were those for whom 'weed', 'smoke' and 'joint' were already key words, he decided that - although the 'tramp' (or drunk unfussy person, or - well, we'll get there later) seemed asleep, he should repeat a few free words.

They elicited no response.

Crying out 'I am God!! and realising it to be true was a bad call. It led to me demanding that all my friends come over and spend time with me; despite the fact that I was already with the Torah, and hence with my best and only friend. (otherwise known as: someone other than me).

God, too, is, of course, his own worse enemy.

There's exactly the smallest infinity of paths through the universe. By which I mean that one fewer is a finite number.

This is why sometimes those who are accurately described as behaviourist seem ungrateful.

Unfortunately, there are some - maybe many, but nobody knows - humans who can never be God. It's no accident that the man who discovered one sufficient biological mutation had a name associated with depression.

Maybe they're the Torah.

The law that lets things happen.

God shouldn't even be able to piss himself, if he were GOD. but GOD is a neo-conservative American/colonial Britain/Roman notion. Not like God.

It needed to be explored, but there's a reason that I crowded my thoughts together separately.

You can't fuck with another person. They're already there.

Also - whenever people seem especially flustered, they're at their most calculating. This era. Sorry; I guess it took a while to wear off.

Coming out of Lucifer was a bad patch. It's hard to love your brother when you know how truly selfish they are.

I remember why the universe was a 'finite' 'sphere'
(though an open topological space).

I was terrified of dying.

Which I made impossible by suffering infinite deaths.

(All of which I decided not much more than a few months ago, after which I'd lived a fair while as myself. I'm not GOD).

Except that there are two of us, really.

Myself and the outside.

Not dying is so much harder than dying, when you know that everything you'll ever read is something you already wrote, on this or a higher level.

Because that means that there's always a higher level.

And that you never decide that you didn't deserve to die.

Chronology is the necessary result of the Torah's ordinals.

(S)he told me as much the other day, by prompting this:

I'm God because everything I can do, is something I can do too.