Schander

I am a cynical, slightly suicidal, misanthropic, epicurean and esoteric antitheist, torn between fatalism and nihilism whilst suffering from a mild case of gerascophobia. Although my relatively elevated level of intelligence ought to be preventing me from this, I can't help feeling superior to virtually anyone I meet. I live my life in escapism and all I care about are the pleasures life has to offer me. Ironically, apathy and indifference rule my life and I'm a slave to my own mind. I'm a neurotic, compulsive, but uncompromisingly pragmatic, over-analyzing and quite paranoid individual, forever in pursuit of perfectionism, thus consequently continuously living in discontent. However, I'd rather be a dysphoric omniscient, than blissfully ignorant. "Denial is not just in Egypt, it's an ocean in which I'm drowning." I'm in a perpetual state of nervous agitation leaning towards borderline psychosis, indecisive and insecure, quickly getting bored of nearly anything. I can either be overly spontaneous and altruistic or utterly introverted and manically depressed, depending on the weather or any other meteorological event. I'm extremely introspective, psychosomatic and reasonably vain, but always in vane. Generally, I'm a serious and all-or-nothing kinda guy, anything but social or a people-person. Moreover, I also seem to score a fairly high AQ. Furthermore, I'm very prudent, unprejudiced, demanding sincerity above everything. I value the lives of animals over the lives of human beings, except for that of insects. Although I have done all sorts of drugs throughout my life, I believe smoking is for the feeble-minded and have the utmost respect for vegan or straight-edge people. Principle heroes are a rarity these days, don't let them stand alone. Just like everyone else, I have been placed upon this planet without request, fighting for my own personal survival. Since I'm not suffering from any type of god-complex, I do not feel responsible for other people's lives, ergo I don't consider egocentrism to be immoral or unethical in any single way. I decline to participate in this seemingly universal desperate attempt of social acceptance through achievement and competence. I utterly despise and loath everything that has (however remotely) anything to do with money, marketing, management, career, corporatism, capitalism, economics, politics, cars, decadence, pride, neckties, nationalism and the established Abrahamic religions. It's mainly the instrument of control called "money" that ruined practically every single aspect of my life, simply because I don't believe in the conceptual value of currency and won't let it dictate my life. I refuse to let prosperity guide me, drown in wealth and luxury and do not feel inferior to people that possess more money than I do, merely because they originated from a wealthy parentage or just happened to make fortunate decisions based on selfishness and avarice. Therefore, in my humble point of view, class differences among social standards or public transportation are in defiance of humanity. I'm in dubio concerning affairs related to the illuminati and freemasonry, since I whole-heartedly believe in the progression of mankind through science and its need for guidance, but on the other hand, I'm also in support of socialism and to some extend even anarchism. I also believe that a democratic communism could in fact work, if everyone would just stop being such greedy primates. I reject any form of monarchism and imperialism, from globalization to religion, it's all just enslavement to me. Although I don't mind listening to any "christcore". I have an arguably extended taste in music, from punk to ambient, but mainly metal. The only genres I absolutely can not stand are R&B, hip-hop or anything rap-related. I'm suffering from an expansion drift, collecting as much different artists as possible within genres of my preference and chart them in an orderly fashion, so none of them will ever bore me out. I've been participating and contributing here on last.fm for over five years now, and I still haven't scrobbled everything that I own. Music in general prevents me from talking to myself and hurting others. I consider fashion and trends media-induced mass-psychoses and disapprove of idolizing individuals. Television (with special regard to MTV) ought to be banned, persuasive manipulative crap legally indoctrinating and corrupting the minds of our youth. If I'm a stereotype at anything, it's that I'm a typical anti-hype non-conformist. One who refuses to cower behind meaningless and shallow symbols or flags. I do not feel responsible for the actions of my predecessors, nor will I ever take pride in any of it. The only type of people towards whom I cherish fascist beliefs if any, are the spineless populists and opportunists, completely changing personality or opinion according to their crowd or circumstances. Residing in my home-made ideological prison confined by walls of contempt, I pity anyone who is incapable or denies to understand. I'm excessively annoyed by the ever-growing incessant ignorance of the sorry excuse for human beings surrounding me, following the current day in day out like a flock of short-sighted and shallow-minded zombie sheep living their pathetically superficial and insignificant simple little lives without ever feeling the need to question a single fucking thing. I refuse to regard my potential future offspring as a token of my masculine fertility and I feel exceptionally committed to children and teenagers. I won't get myself a dog just so I can boss it around and be able to explore my dominate alpha male side. Do not confuse obedience with intelligence. I renounce self-obliged etiquettes and family-ties, quite probably due to my questionable childhood. I'm interested in roughly everything that has anything to do with existence and the end of it, cosmology, astronomy, meteorology, palaeontology, ancient history, archaeology, theology (to a certain extent), mythology, mysticism, paranormality, psychology, philosophy, sociology, biology, chemistry, (quantum)physics, temporal paradoxes, post-apocalyptic themes, science and science fiction. A't times, I can be condescendingly cerebral and like to come of as a wise man, yet I rarely take my own advise. There's no such thing as normal, there's only average, which I desperately try not to be. I don't acknowledge any laws, not even gravity. I loved to skateboard since the age of fourteen, a widely regarded childish hobby that I can't seem to get rid of. Once upon a time I played drums but was too pessimistic to continue. I write lyrics as well, but apart from music I'm a real movie buff and am also doing some filming of my own. I'm all but prolific and always choose quality over quantity. I take what I can whenever it comes my way, but seldom put any effort in that what I yearn for. "The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." I sincerely believe jealousy and ambition are the demise of what's left of our moral and intellectual humanity. "The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. What may sound to some like anger, is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity and I root for its destruction." My hate might be grand, but never senseless. I am an astoundingly complicated and stubborn person, whose life is governed strictly by his thoughts, intuition and principles. For I am resistant to common interpretation and beyond mortal comprehension. "I'd rather be hated for what I am, than loved for what I am not." Most people are afraid of me, because man hates what it fears and fears what it fails to comprehend. "I am everything that you are too afraid to be." Who am I to judge you? Who are you to question my judgement! Either consider me your social counterweight, or perceive me as your conveniently eligible fraternizingly common enemy. If anyone is still interested in me after reading this pretentious manifesto, feel free to add me. Be the remedy for my misanthropy, but do NOT under any circumstances, mistake my kindness for weakness. Believe it or not, my last name is actually spelled BREE.