Articles

  • A Metal Fairytale

    9 nov. 2007, 18h42m

    A Metal Fairytale

    Scenario:
    The princess in the castle is trapped and guarded by a dragon.

    Power Metal:
    The protagonist arrives, riding a white unicorn, sneaks past the dragon, saves the princess and has sex with her in the magical forest.

    Thrash Metal:
    The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon and fucks the princess.

    Heavy Metal:
    The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

    Folk Metal:
    The protagonist arrives with a bunch of friends who are playing the flute, the violin and lots of other strange instruments. The dragon falls asleep, and they all leave without the princess.

    Viking Metal:
    The protagonist arrives in a Viking ship, and kills the dragon with a battle-axe. He skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, loots anything of value he can find and burns the castle before he leaves.

    Death Metal:
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, kills the princess and leaves.

    Black Metal:
    The protagonist comes at midnight, kills the dragon and crucifies it in front of the castle. Then he rapes the princess and drinks her blood, before crucifying her next to the dragon and being on his way.

    Gore Metal:
    The protagonist arives, kills the dragon and throws its guts around. Fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks her again, cuts up her stomach and eats her entrails. He fucks her again, burns her, and fucks her once more for good measure.

    Doom Metal:
    The protagonist comes, sees the dragon and thinks: ”Fuck… I’ll never be able to kill that thing.” He gets depressed and kills himself. The dragon eats the protagonist and the princess.

    Love Metal:
    The protagonist comes riding on a white horse singing ”daaaarling baaabyyy ohoooo”. The dragon already ran away in fear. He saves the princess and lights a fire, but then he dies of heart ache on the way home.

    Progressive Metal:
    The protagonist arrives and plays a 26 minute long guitar solo. The dragon kills itself out of boredom. The protagonist comes into the princess’ bedroom and plays another 26 minute solo. The princess runs off to look for the heavy metal protagonist.

    Glam Metal:
    The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs his arse off because of the spandex and make-up and lets him pass. He steals all the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle pink with nail polish.

    Nu Metal (Rap core, etc.):
    The protagonist arrives in a car, fights the dragon, but sadly demises because his ridiculously large clothes catch fire.

    courtesy to Pith Records
  • If Trent would be black and rap....

    5 nov. 2007, 12h23m

    If Trent Reznor would do rap, his music would sound like "The Inevitable Raise And Liberation Of NiggyTardust", latest album of Saul Williams. The album is fantastic, but it reeks of Trent, yet, it is Saul Williams'. You can "read" Trent Reznor in the music, in the sounds, and effects, but the background sound mixes perfectly with Saul's vocals and lyrics and concept. And, a wonderful and great surprise for me - the cover of "Sunday Bloody Sunday", my most fav U2song ever. I couldn't detect much of Trent's vocals, I wonder if he made any, maybe only for SBS, so I don't know what to say about... Oh, I can hear some Trent in "Niggy Tardust". But the arrangements are Trent's, it's his electronic sounds, his playing with his toys there, you can even "read" different Nine Inch Nails album influences. I spotted some "With Teeth" and others too. And, on top of all, the obsession for the thing done perfectly, of Trent. It's worth listening. It's worth giving something in return, these artists deserve it.
  • MUSE & Brett Anderson, Bucharest, October 6th

    8 oct. 2007, 7h57m

    Saturday been at the Musegig, which was awesome, and also a nice surprise for me. I knew about Muse, but never listened to them. There's been some vids on the music channels here too, but again I didn't pay much attention. So it was something new for me.

    First surprise was seeing Brett Anderson, former singer in UK band Suede, very big in the 1990s. I knew he and his band would do the warm-up but wasn't expecting to be that good. For someone reaching 40s, he looks and moves awesome. The music was ok, also.

    Then the Museshow. One of the best I've seen. Total show, with music, images and lights. The music is good also, the singer is really talented, really love how he loves playing guitar. And he's very good at that. They had these 3 screens up on the back of the stage, showing various images, and from time to time, combined with images (very nicely processed) from what was happening on the stage. It was a great experience, that they made sure (very professionally) it would be that way for us.

    Brett Anderson





    Muse







  • Gogol Bordello, May 25th, Bucharest, Romania

    29 mai 2007, 7h50m

    My review of this awsome gig of Gogol Bordello will consist only of images, because, isn't it?, an image speaks a thousand words. So, here's for everyone to read...
















    If anyone uses my crappy pics, please credit them to me, Mr Naked. TY
  • Bragging

    5 déc. 2006, 16h06m

    Ha, I'm gonna see Nine Inch Nails in February, next year, in Spain.
    I'm ze man!
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    2 août 2006, 10h23m

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Rhapsody: To slay the mighty, great and glorious dragon which honorably bears the unholy symbol of the five flaming crossed swords!

    HammerFall: To come to the home of the brave!

    My Dying Bride: To die alone and embrace the unescapable cold embrace of death on a cold, dark, misty autumn night... It's bloodied body is what I cling to...

    Iron Maiden: It was afraid of the dark.

    Sinergy: It went to the fourth world!

    W.A.S.P. : To fuck something.

    Manowar: TO FIGHT SIDE BY SIDE WITH THOR'S MIGHTY MINIONS!!! To rock, drink and fuck... AND BE METALLLLLLLLLLL! If the chicken is not into metal, it is NOT MY FRIEND!

    Type O Negative: To give the christian woman some bloody kisses

    Immolation- because it was here in after

    Cynic-it went to celestial voyage

    Testament- to practice what it preach

    Crown Of Thorns - because of good and evil

    Morbid Angel - it found Gateway to Annihilation

    Deicide- to fuck your God!

    Kataklysm- it followed the Awakener

    Pestilence- it was leaving Land of Tears

    Nocturnus- because otherwise it will die by the Sign of the Key

    Sentenced: To end its misery.

    Lost Horizon: TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF WILL AND FREE ITSELF FROM ALL CHAINS OF FATE!!!

    Burzum: To KILL THE JEWS!!!

    Slayer: TO REFUSE THIS FUCKING RACE, REJECT GOD AND BE BAPTIZED IN BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!

    Avantasia: To fly on the wings of destiny!

    Korn: To get away from abusive parents.

    Children of Bodom: Cuz it got more painful every time it dies...

    Annihilator: Chicken isn't it frightening, chicken aren't you scarred...

    Korpiklaani: To drink, fight and dance till the morning!

    Yngwie: TO UNLEASH THE FOKKIN' FURY!!!!

    Vintersorg: To go TO THE MOUNTAINS

    Ozzy: Chicken gather in their masses... just like witches at black masses...

    Metallica: To sue the other chicken for crossing his road!

    Cradle of Filth: RAAAAA RAAAAAAA GROOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU GREEEEEEEEEEEE CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Amon Amarth: TO RIDE FOR VENGEANCE, FIGHT FOR HONOUR, GLORY, DIE IN FIRE!

    Stratovarius: To hunt high & low!

    Sonata Arctica: Chicken, my darling, i'm writing to you, tell me that you still love me, whore...

    Helloween: To be friends with the other chicken! WEEEEE! Chicken don't come easy!

    Running Wild: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    Misfits: TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND KILL YOUR BABY TODAY YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

    Judas Priest: Wings of steel this chicken, deadly nose this chichken yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Evergrey: It went in search of truth

    Kalmah: It went TO THE SWAMP!

    Saxon: WAS IT WEARIN' DENIM, WEARIN' LEATHER?

    Nevermore: Nevermore to lay an egg, the egg collector sang, and it won't be feeling hollow for so long..

    Madder Mortem: Because that is where forever opens, that is where it falls apart...

    System of a Down: For selfrighteous suicide

    Cannibal Corpse: To be slayed, butchered, fucked, raped, strangled, for me to feast on its intestines!

    Symphony X: To unleash the fuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

    Dream Theater: To look another way and not find it there.

    Susperia: to enter HOME SWEET HELL!

    Immortal: To enter the necrotic frostbitten gates of Blashyrkh... Mighty grim Ravendark...

    Anal Cunt: Chicken's mom is gay.

    Hatebreed: to FACE WHAT CONSUMES IT!!!!!

    Temnozor: By fires and murder, the yellow chicken roars...

    Bal-Sagoth: To enter the cosmic power in it's vast void of empty nothingness and swoosh within the astral forces of the northern something.. BLODU OK JARNA!

    Andromeda: Chicken = 2 Chicken

    Bruce Dickinson: He didn't want to be in a band with an italian drummer. TO THROW ITSELF INTO THE SEA!

    Dark Funeral: To worship satan!

    Arch Enemy: It needs your flesh...

    Gamma Ray: YOU-EVIL-FARMERS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE CONTROL! YOU CAN TAKE IT'S LAID EGGS, BUT YOU CAN'T BREAK ITS SOUL! ONE DAY IT SHALL BE FREE!

    Joe Satriani: "tiruli triruliliruliiiiiiiiiiiiii ChchchchchchtrilululilialuariaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA eeeeeeeeeeauauauauaua *solo*"

    Dimmu Borgir: Chicken is war, chicken is pain, chicken is all you've ever slain, he is tears in your eyes, he's the bringer of the blight...666, Satan!

    Cruachan: It's on the rocky road to Dublin!

    Impaled Nazarene: Chicken has crossed the via dolorosa with zero tolerance. The absence of eggs does not mean peace!

    Grave Digger: Chickenheart! almighty king, freedom it'll bring! *bagpipes*

    Pantera: To cross the cemetary gates...

    Queen: The chicken must go on! Fat bottomed chicken make the rockin' world go round!

    Led Zeppelin: To be a rock and not to roll...

    Sirenia: It was at sixes and sevens.

    Blind Guardian: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BELIEVE (back vokal: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BE FREE!)

    Nargaroth: CHICKEN IST KRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!

    Venom: Chicken is in league with Satan!

    King Diamond: Oh poor little chicken, it doesn't know what it got itself into... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHehehehehehehahahaha!!!

    Turbonegro: Chicken's got erection.

    Nokturnal Mortum: IN THE NAME OF ARYAN PRIDE!

    Iced Earth: Saviour to his own, chicken to some, chickenkind falls, something wicked comes!

    Demons & Wizards: He went to fiddle on the green.


    Finntroll: Han for iväg med sina trollvänner för att slakta nagra kristna!!

    Siebenburgen: To run away from the Father Of All Lies
  • Tag Me Picky And Arrogant, But... (about tags on songs on Last.fm)

    26 juin 2006, 15h28m

    Since I'm a master in wasting time, I don't find anything better to do than amuse myself reading the tags others gave to songs played on Last.FM

    So... I will give only few examples, since they tend to repeat themselves.

    According to some, Chopin's Nocturne No 1 is: funk, blues, Hiop-Hop, metal, electronica, post-rock and indie rock, Grunge, free jazz and contemporary classical, psy.chedelic.

    Ok, next - Beethoven's Theme Russe: Allegro: alternative, punk, indie, classic rock, alternative rock, electronic, new wave, new age, folk, Melodic Death Metal (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), 80s, ska, Gothic Metal, blues, funk, Power Metal, reggae, soul, cool, post-punk, mozart and friends, hip-hop, melodic black metal and grunge. Oh, and guitar, aslo. Hard rock and ambient, seen live (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), pop, celtic, female vocalists, rap.

    Ennio Morricone - Cinema Paradiso: electronic, classic rock, alternative, indie, chill-out, metal, psychedelic, trip-hop, rap, funk, punk, post-punk, nu jazz, acid jazz, hard rock, drum n bass.

    Mmmm my fav, Bach - Fugue No 1 - indie, jazz, alternative, classic rock, punk, pop, folk, new age, opera, new age, 80s, Dead (probly from Grateful Dead), latin, hip-hop, trumpet.

    Another fav of mine - Massive Attack: female vocalists (they are only males in this tune), industrial, metal, gothic, doom metal, thrash metal,

    Miles Davis : power pop, industrial, trip-hop, guitar (hmmmm Miles Davis and Joe Satriani ROTFLMAO), latin, hard-rock, japanese (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), psychedelic, punk rock, alternative rock, post-rock and, my fav - female vocalists ROTFLMAO And someone tagged it as "Officially Shit" Poor Miles Davis dude! LMFAO I don't particulary enjoy jazz, but guys like Miles Davis made history, unlike all those stupid emo kids bands who dissapear after 1 year and 3 singles.PS; I shouldn't forget about the 'rap' tag LMFAO

    Oh and Tchaikovsky: jazz, adio beauty, Disney, emo, mallcore (WTF is that???), fantastick & groovical, man beating a goat, classic rock, pop, hardcore classical composers, Hip-Hop, opera (ok is symphonic and ballet music, no opera), and all followed by a long list of classical composers, none of them being the poor Tchaikovsky.

    Radiohead: jazz, reggae, hip-hop, overrated music

    U2 - Shadows and Tall Trees: hip-hop, jazz, grunge, female vocalists (did Bono have a sex change operation?), reggae, techno, trance, crap (yup!), instrumental (ok, so it's only me hearing Bono's voice), nu-metal, ska and gothic.

    The Who are, according to some, japanese, sing hip-hop, dance, death-metal, jazz, have a femal vocalist too (poor dude LMFAO), and sing rap, funk, industial, ska, reggae, others rated them as being Pink Floyd, etc etc

    For some, Tom Waits is one of them female vocalists, but someone else made sure they tag him as male. *claps hands* :P As for genre, I know it's hard to categorize it, but c'mon, the poor fella is so far away from singing rap, hip-hop, punk-rock, country, industrial, brit pop, grunge, gothic, etc. And he's defenetly not japanese, as some tagged him.

    Oh, and Guns N Roses are, besides singing Death Metal and Gothic and Hip-Hop, according to some, Finnish, German.

    Thanx for the laughs, dudes! :P Tchuss!
  • Something I'll Be Hated For (Nine Inch Nails, again :P)

    21 juin 2006, 10h13m

    Pretty Hate Machine. No, I won't do a review of the album. That's what Answers.com and Rolling Stones Mag. are for :P

    Anyway, it's the album I like the least. It sounds too late 80's hip-hop thinggie for my tastes. I hate the 80's with all my being, imagine how I feel for 80's hip-hop stuff. That doesn't mean I consider the album to be bad. Oh, no, is way better than most of the shit produced back then. But...

    It sounds so different from the stuff that Trent Reznor came up with later. It's as if he started on this line but something inside his inner mechanism betrayed him and made him go more toward the metal/rock stuff.

    It sounds so young. All the things he deals with on this album are mostly of a teenager. And this brings me to what made the lights blink in my mind. This album is so similar to Led Zeppelin's first album. The same rage and anger, the same almost mysoginistic atitude one gets after being hurt one too many times by women. You can sense the young man whose first or firsts relationships ended up bad.

    On the second album Led Zeppelin mellowed their tone, and so did Trent Reznor. On Broken actually, he deals with themese totally different of Pretty Hate Machine ones.

    But there are also few tunes that really are contrasting with the rest of the album by their maturity. I'm talking about Terrible Lie and Something I Can Never Have. Actually I was surprised to find out that Something I Can Never Have is on this album, I was thinking that it was something he wrote later on.
  • We're In This (Shite) Together

    16 juin 2006, 9h06m

    Nine Inch Nails have only few good vids, and the one for We're In This Together is one of them. That post-apocalyptic scenario, the desperation on the men's faces. Reminds me of those episodes when Aussie land was only a prison colony and, when the new ships with female prisoners arrived, they gathered all the male prisoners on the shore and it all ended up into a mass raping and abuse. Anyway...

    About the song itself - Ever been so in love with someone to cling literally of them and refuse to let go no matter what? To hang in there just for the sake of it, regardless any logical reason? Dunno what triggerd Trent Reznor to write this song, "the intimate mechanisms of the artist" as I read in some book, but for me the lyrics depict this desperation, as if the other one is all you have left in this world and you cling on them because you know that's the only way, your only salvation. And what better love declaration, that "I'll stick with you until death us parts" statement one could make than this?

    I’ve become impossible
    Holding on to when
    When everything seemed to matter more
    The two of us
    All used and beaten up
    Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose

    You and me
    We’re in this together now
    None of them can stop us now
    We will make it through somehow
    You and me
    If the world should break in two
    Until the very end of me
    Until the very end of you

    Awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin
    They pick and they pull
    Trying to get their fingers in
    Well they’ve got to kill what we found
    Well they’ve got to hate what they fear
    Well they’ve got to make it go away
    Well they’ve got to make it disappear

    The farther I fall I’m beside you
    As lost as I get I will find you
    The deeper the wound I’m inside you
    For ever and ever I am a part of

    You and me
    We’re in this together now
    None of them can stop us now
    We will make it through some how
    You and me
    If the world should break in two
    Until the very end of me
    Until the very end of you

    All that we were is gone we have to hold on
    When all our hope is gone we have to hold on
    All that we were is gone but we can hold on

    You and me
    We’re in this together now
    None of them can stop us now
    We will make it through somehow
    You and me

    Even after everything
    You’re the queen and I’m the king
    Nothing else means anything
  • About The Frail One - NIN (again)

    14 juin 2006, 7h29m

    If you were a song, what kind of song would you be?

    First and foremost, the song I'd be should have cellos. I love the sound of cellos more than anything. And Nine Inch Nails and cellos = goose-bumps and a tune to listen to on and on and on and drive insane everyone around me with it.

    This tune begins as if received from a very far away place in the Universe. Or as if someone starts an old weird and dusty machine. Then, the smooth and intricate sounds of the cellos and violins. Over those, what seems like a boy playing with the buttons of a space ship or interferences from other transmissions from different corners of the Universe. Or as if a mad scientist is testing his crazy inventions.

    The song keeps the original theme, but it's played only by cellos, as if by Apocalyptica. Which made me think Apocalyptica would make such great NIN covers. Anyway...

    The main song gets distorted. At one point it's even interrupted for just a flick of a second. The other interferrences get very frequent. But the main body of the song doesn't fade away. It doesn't dissapear into the big void out there. But the distortions and interference get so frustrating that you can hear him (Trent Reznor) sighing as if exasperated. Then the song just finishes. For a bit, another attempt, as if someone is testing the strings of their violin.
    End of transmission.

    I have a new most fav tune: The Frail (version). It makes me think of that Judy Foster movie, "Contact", in which she was listening to the Universe, hoping to catch a transmission from outer space.

    *PS: A friend of mine sorta reproached me that she reads my comments about one song or another, and then goes to that song and feels a bit dissapointed, cause it doesn't suit her tastes and for her doesn't sound that great as it does for me :P LMFAO*