Luca Conquers The Five Deadly Trials of the Sturgeon Falls Trail


29 sept. 2009, 18h06m

This should be a photo album, however before departing on our epic adventure, I noticed SOMEONE crammed a marble into the battery slot of my camera in an Arthurian level of difficulty. Clearly I am not the king, so you will just have to take my word for it. The adventure began around 1 pm on this glorious July 20th 2009. We found the first Trial of the Sturgeon Trail had been artificially circumvented. Someone plowed a path around the Ever Growing Twin Mud Puddle Monsters, and so we easily traversed it whilst Luca remained seated in his three wheeled chariot of glory. I forced Luca to his two feet upon arrival at the second trial, The Ever Widening Gulf Stream, which he crossed without incident. It was around this time he noticed mud on his legs which caused a mild degree of distress. Upon explaining that adventures meant getting wet and dirty, we shook on a deal to not care, which of course lead to him purposely running dead centre through every single puddle we crossed, laughing uproariously. Soon a beautiful black and white butterfly buzzed his brain to which he commented, "that butterfly flew over Luca's head. It knows Luca is a boy, so that Butterfly called me Luca!" With the origin of his mysterious name revealed, the day proved to be an afternoon of deep spiritual discovery. Soon we reached the vast expanse of still crystal clear pond swarming with minnows. A beautiful awe inspiring sight as somehow in my memory I always confuse this with the upcoming trial of the Ever Encroaching Pond of Murky Doom. There was a scant remnant of stick barricade left mildly damning the flow. We effortlessly pranced across the bark worse than bite flood where Luca found a metal semi circle he determined was a weapon which would come in handy later on. Soon enough he found a trunk larger than him he decided was my weapon. However I declined, finding myself pushing an empty stroller, (ahem... Three Pronged Chariot of Glory) to leave Luca both hands full, muddied head to toe, merrily trouncing the trail, three trials down. Soon enough, true to Luca's instinct, two dangerous youths came barrelling down the path on bicycles of doom, one smoking a cancer stick even, but Luca held his ground strong and proud. Displaying his mighty weapons, the two slunk by in fear, cowering at the boy just turned powerful man, none dare stand in his way as the fourth trial neared! The Beaver Damn of Sinking Hope proved once again surmounted by Homo Sapiens superiority, as a glorious bridge stood in its way. We cross with dry feet and lack of current, howling at our triumph over the dangers of the wild! Climbing up the other side, we enter my favoured part of the trail, the trees grow taller here, hanging over creating a near impenetrable tunnel of shade. Oh joy!!!!! The glory of northern existence abounds as we crossed the ski trail a scant few hundred meters from the entrance to Inca Road and see a plethora of tadpoles and one large frog scurry away under the brush. What can this be???? Only one frog on our quest to the falls??? Strange, but perhaps just the wrong time of day, more used to evening jaunts with the sun setting over the falls. Luca's excitement level peaks as we parked the unused chariot and began our descent to the rocky pit of majesty. I asked the young adventurer, easy route or hard route, any guesses as to his answer???? Yes. Luca conquered the fifth and most difficult trial of the trail. He climbed down the cliff leading around the left side of the large bay right afore the falls with a minimum of help. While traipsing through the bushes and treacherous rock path we discover a treasure trove of tadpoles the likes of which never before seen by mankind! Luca discovers they are slimy. Soon we scale the mystical rock fire pit where surely eons of animal sacrifices have taken place and surmount the summit.
Luca was amazed at the glory that is Sturgeon Falls, we marched along the ridge examining it from all angles and listening to the rush of cascading water. Deciding it was time to munch some lunch, we chose a grassy spot to sit, and right in between us we find a discarded snake skin intertwined through the grass as it struggled to free itself from its constricting past shell. We examined it before sharing a curry spiced tuna sandwich with fresh garden chives and cilantro, washed down with five alive and a few spicy peanuts to finish us off. Upon completion, and audio documentation of the fall sound, we took the easy way back full circle around the big still rock pond, Luca somehow believing the rocks on the path were being mean to him somehow, then blown away and confused that we were back at the rock cliff that started our Sturgeon jaunt. Deciding we weren't ready to head back just yet, we took off into the trail network along the dunes, and found a nice couple sitting by the cliff overlooking the end of the falls further down the mighty Kapuskasing river. We admire and chat, and leave them be after Luca confounds them with speech of alien watches as his ever-salutation. We march down to the river, and Luca determines we need a more challenging return, so we forge a new trail along rock outcroppings rimming the river until we find ourselves back on the trail and up to our left chariot. Luca, being a bit leg worn climbs in and we embark on our triumphant return. Minus bear bites, and gravity rock bone mashes, whole and full two parts running! On return to the Beaver Damn of Sinking Hope I required Luca's departure from the chariot to cross the bumpy bridge. Once through, we find our balck and white butterfly friend ahead leading the way home. Luca determines it is indeed the same one that christened him, and leaves trail to take chase. Immediately hitting a creek butt first, a moment of cold wet panic leads to hysterical laughter for sustained minutes. While traversing yet another teeny puddle rim, our first bush chicken of the day thunderously flaps away frightening the unseasoned nature warrior. Soon upon crossing the Ever Encroaching Murky Pond of Doom, I find my unmentioned weapon left there upon realising the difficulty of this crossing, I plop it in the mud as a warning to all meek and meagre would be adventurers not ready for the perils to come. Luca soon returned to wallowing full fledge through the deepest of puddles, laughingly mocking my warning that some were too deep for him to make squealing with glee "It's too deep!! I can't make it!" while easily tearing through. As we hit the home stretch, I noticed the ugliest bush chicken I've ever seen, red and ragged, we record the audio of it flapping off, then get spooked when a second and third light off! Luca is amazed! He soon climbed back into the Three Pronged Chariot of Glory as we returned to civilisation, just out back the hospital. There we found Janelle taking a smoke break. We had a nice chat whilst Luca rolled downhill. I informed her of Luca's earlier comment that the future was IN that building. Her response being that he was the smartest four year old she'd ever met, since the future was in there, that's where all the babies were born! As we marched back down Avenue road, we... Read More saw two boys biking around Andre Care, one on the silliest looking contraption I'd ever seen! HUGE front wheel and two back ones mimicking a wheel chair. Bizarre! We stopped to watch for a while, when looking back, we see FOUR large black weasels cross the road and race off into the deep grass. AMAZING!! The most exciting sighting of the day comes in the town itself. In conclusion, I now ask Luca what he has to say about his conquering of the epic Sturgeon Falls, his muttered reply after marching around arms raised in triumph? "Dosquitos."
Luca Conquers the Five Deadly Trials of the Sturgeon Falls Trail


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