• shout count

    12 fév. 2011, 8h12m

    sometimes I notice my shout count going down and I know probably means a last.fm friend (or foe) has departed.
    e-RIP whoever you are.
  • I'll fucking, I'll fucking, sew your asshole closed and keep feedin' you and feedin'…

    23 août 2010, 9h17m

    Midwife Stiffed; Stitches Anus
    Shenyang : China | Aug 20, 2010

    Shenzhen, Guangdong Province; China: Don’t ever irritate a midwife with a needle. Make sure to tip her generously or else. Zhang, a midwife practicing in conjunction with Fenghuang Hospital in Luohu District, agreed to remove a hemorrhoid from a woman in labor. This she did out of the kindness of her heart.

    When the family refused to tip the midwife, which is customary for a “normal delivery.” The pay the family bestowed upon Zhang was equivalent to $15 US. Zhang hinted to the couple that she could take care of the “other problem” along with the birth for a little – somethin –somthin… When the initially agreed upon payment was secured and no gratuity followed; Zhang did a little creative needlework on the woman’s anus. Yep, she sewed it up…with beautiful black stitches.

    Zhang is under investigation and unable for comment.

  • Australia's Got Talent vs. X Factor

    16 mai 2010, 22h39m

    Susan Boyle (Subo) shot to fame after being discovered on Britain's Got Talent, she can sing despite NOT BEING YOUR TYPICAL SINGER.

    The Idol format does not allow for such nonsense as the moldy oldies are prohibited from entering, however both Blank's Got Talent and X Factor let both old uggos enter as well as people with other alleged talents that NOBODY CARES ABOUT.

    There are strict rules regarding just who judges talent shows in Australia, let's look at how well these two shows appease them.

    Judge no.1: A Kyle Sandilands type character, a big meanie who you LOVE TO HATE, because he TELLS IT LIKE IT IS.
    Australia's Got Talent: Kyle Sandilands
    X Factor: Kyle Sandilands

    Judge no. 2: An Irish ex-boyband member who has had the most solo success out of anyone from his former group.
    Australia's Got Talent: Brian McFadden
    X Factor: Ronan Keating

    Judge no. 3: A petite brunette female singer with some kind of connection to Neighbours who relocated to the UK and despite their level of fame only really had THAT ONE SONG ten YEARS AGO.
    Australia's Got Talent: Dannii Minogue
    X Factor: Natalie Imbruglia

    Judge no. 4: Fuck off there isn't meant to be a forth judge. How can simple majority based rulings be made with four judges, what if two judges say yes and two say no??? IT WILL BE CHAOS!!!
    Australia's Got Talent: Damn straight we ain't got no damn forth judge
    X Factor: Guy Sebastian

    Guy Sebastian, the man who was once famous for his virginity and afro now has neither. He is the wild card. Will he sink the X Factor ship before it even gets to air? Or will he give them the edge they need to find an even uglier and more Scottish singer than Got Talent?
  • A problem I have with the song In My Head by Jason Derulo

    14 mars 2010, 12h17m

    "Everybody's looking for love. Oh. Oh.
    Ain't that the reason you're at this club. Oh. Oh. "

    That's the opening line of the song, which he sings to a girl in a parking spot outside of a convenience store!
    Car parks aren't clubs.

    Also who the hell hangs out in a car park late at night asides from complete jerks?
    From the looks of things Jason and his friends are taking up most the spaces or at least enough of the spaces that it would be awkward for anyone else who turned up actually wanting to shop not just loiter.

    Jason Derulo - In My Head
  • Kanye West screengrab

    14 sept. 2009, 5h30m

    I guess I ought to save this before it's removed.
  • Sat 5 Sep – Die Human Scum

    6 sept. 2009, 0h13m

    Sat 5 Sep – Die Human Scum

    Written by Andrew McIntosh (Screwtape)

    Die Human Scum the next day and the promise of The Noise being brought was well and truly delivered - by everyone except me. I decided to wuss out in frustration of constantly fucking up my own gear by stupidly placing it too far away from everyone and thus dragging it with me when I started jumping on people, and the microphones deciding to play funny fuckers. Thing was, the feeling was just gone suddenly and like a diva I just decided in a split second to not go on fiddling around with my own gear. No point giving all when there's nothing to give. I must admit I felt embarrassed and ashamed (and left wondering if people weren't going to think I'm some kind of flake and never want to book me for a gig again) but as I was organising the gig I thought I'd give myself some slack and let the others Noise on instead.

    It was a good call. Never seen Fuck, The Retarded Girl play before but Kyle's set of loud (thanks to the excellent, old-school pa Loophole had, it shat on Glitch's) and abrasive Harsh Noise was a reminder just how great this sound is when done well. A simple array of pedals and contact mikes on plastic rubbish and foil made the whole room distort. It was brilliant.

    Clinton Green's (Undecisive God's) set was as austere and minimalist based as most of his work is, the emphasis on silences, accidental sounds and concentration well augmented by his digital-delayed loops and droning which culminated into a lovely crescendo. Clinton was really on form with his older gear and just basically rocked.

    It was also decided that Ebola Disco played one of their better sets. The sound was mixed, concentrated, not the usual dark harshness of other sets I've seen and I thought there where some issues with the microphone levels but sound and emotion wise the boys where obliterating. Casey's bogan agro and Ben's teeth clenching focus burned together with a set that, having discarded the micro-synths, relied solely on pedals and power. They where happy, we where happy, and no gear fuck-ups.

    Mark (Absoluten Calfeutrail) once again relied on a dark, barely-restrained contempt that saw him going to the toilet at the start of his set (was he microphoning his piss? We may never know) and leaving the room as he fought his own demons before us. His tracks rely on heavy power drones, not a lot of HN spazzing out this set, and his agro was intense in the air. You always expect hell to break loose and it never happens yet somehow it works better that way.

    Since Kyle's friends turned up fashionably late (by the way, the gig was due to start at 3.00 but of course I left it to 3.30 and still people where arriving afterwards) a second set was called for that was even better than the first. Faced with a few gear hassles he wisely decided to go with it and created a set of interesting contrast between glitchy, fucked-up squall and out-and-out power Noise. I was sitting closer to the speakers this time and got the full effect in the face. One of the best Noise sets I've heard/felt so far.

    So, despite my shallow behaviour and personal misgivings thereof, it was a great day. Loophole is a great venue, their people are polite and helpful and once again, they have a decent pa (something capitalist establishments need to get their heads around), although we all noticed from set one a distinct burning wire smell from one of the speakers that in fact added to the ambience. My friends refused to be paid so I ended up getting reimbursed for the pa, the DI box and for an ink cartridge to print the flyers, so that went well too. When Loophole move to their new premises it'd be nice to try them for a gig again; places like that are a lot more relaxed and easier than pubs and clubs (and have better acoustics, it seems).
  • Someone has stolen Rasputin's penis!

    2 sept. 2009, 1h57m

    My about me section was editted by last.fm last.night!
    Quelle Horreur!
  • You commented on somebody’s journal, but the comment’s been deleted.

    1 sept. 2009, 2h37m

    404 Page not found
    Whoops, sorry, this page does not exist.

    battleaxed left the kitchen after being overwhelmed by the temperature.
  • Suri of AppleKabukiSuri fame featured in a magazine!

    12 août 2009, 13h24m

    The kitten on the left, circa early 2007
  • Very nice to see Betty Rubble working again

    7 mai 2009, 5h08m

    I'd totally forgotten how much I love these guys